jude s. priest, esquire

i KNEW friday was gonna be a long day, i just didn’t know HOW long…and the fates weren’t making it any easier. here was las plann originale:

sleep till 10:00
spend time with dogs till about 1:30
head to SA, work the judas priest show till about midnight
go home and be domestic this weekend

then i did my time sheet. and saw i was pretty short on hours last week due to dental and doggie stuff. so, i decided an office appearance would be a good idea, and figured they probably wouldn’t be able to get all my stuff ready for the SA priest show by thursday night anyway. so the NEW plan became…

get up at usual time
spend the bulk of the MORNING with the dogs
be at office by noon
leave by 1:30 or so
head to SA, work…

but then stuff happened at work that i won’t go into for professional courtesy reasons, and i was required to be in by 9:00 on friday. just to be a GOOD kid, i was actually there by 8:20. but lance couldn’t come over and put the dogs out ’cause of work, they won’t let anyone else in the house, and the vet opened too late (ten minutes after i ended up getting to the office) for me to board copper. so the plan as it became was…

get up by 6:15, leave house by 7:30
get to office by 8:30, leave office by 12:30
get home by 1:30, hang with pups till’ 2:00
THEN head to SA, work…

a seventy mile detour just to keep the peace at the crib. in a lot of ways, WELL worth it. and then it was off to work judas priest; a show i knew DAMN well would have walk-up around a thousand or so, and i wouldn’t wanna touch ANY of them…and i was SO right. on the up side, i saw this one metal chick i knew (and have always been kinda frightened of) in SA, who rushed up to me only to recoil as if she was a hippy chick and i had a bar of ivory hanging from a chain around my neck; as she did so, she shrieked:

“HOLY SHIT!!! YOU CUT ALL YOUR HAIR OFF!!!”

she then went on about, “how could i do that….” and how now “all the magic was gone” (to her)….

COOL…now, as if i needed validation for my actions, i feel a LOT better about my decision.

a few stories from the priest show…

1. i started my day there sitting in a VERY small room with three VERY gorgeous women who weren’t wearing much (due to the heat, but who the fuck cares WHY) watching them count a good bit of cash. i looked around at all the dough, the healthy mix of beauty (busty blonde, curvy brunette, and a leggy latina) and said out loud, “wow…three gorgeous women, a shit load of cash, and me…i’ve had dreams like this…” they all laughed, and the two that have known me complimented me on the hair since i was removing my baseball cap as i made the comment. but in the end, i walked out without ANY of the money, or any of the girls…

*begins to sing 80’s dance song*

“back to life…back to reality….”

2. the box office at sunken gardens is a non-ventilated, climate-controlled (as in the climate OUTSIDE controls the climate INSIDE) solid concrete box that is tiny and only 6’6″ in height. the problem is, the shutter that covers the booth window is thick heavy wood and swings up and chains to the ceiling. this drops the height of the box to 5’11”. i’m 5’9″. NO problem. junior, however, is like 6’2″. i don’t know if that boy can straighten his neck YET.

3. apparently, sunken gardens amphitheater has NO issue with people being ass-out, blind-eyed, chin-dribbling BLITZED upon arrival. i saw levels of intoxication going IN to the show that let me KNOW who i’d see security walking out with…sometimes within a half hour of them arriving. and they WASTE beer, too…so much was hurled up on stage during the show the tour manager threatened to pull the band off stage. i can see that happening during an opening act…the bill promised you a band you like, and here this other suck-ass band is on stage, buying time for the guys you CAME to see, just so another stripper can snort a rail off the lead singer’s erection; so you throw a beer to voice your dis-satisfaction with their performance and hint that they may have bailed their gig as an overnight waiter at denny’s a bit early. fair enough. but some openers are actually BETTER than the main act; a prime example being when i got label comps to see house of pain (remember the “irish” american rap band that did the song, “jump around”?) do their first solo tour, and the opener was this new band on college radio that had just put out their first cd…and their name was rage against the machine.

4. it takes a certain amount of the pressure off working a show like judas priest and budgie in san antonio. my only issue with working summer shows (particularly outdoor ones) is you sweat like a slave and then usually see some INCREDIBLY hot girl who’s not wearing much, ends up smiling at you, and you go to talk to her only for your sweaty-ass smell to kill off all hope (and breath). at THIS show, i KNEW there wouldn’t be girl one i’d EVEN wanna talk to…and i was pretty much accurate. to quote shane (who didn’t work the show but these words of wisdom still fit), “the crowd never TURNED ugly…they showed up that way…” now the undoubtedly stripper-infested NICKELBACK show next month there? that will be a WHOLE different story….and i am SO there.

finally, i am ALL about retro 80’s stuff, including some of the lingo…but here are three phrases i REALLY could have done without that i had to hear last night:

1. dude, priest was SO RADICAL in the 80’s….
2. think they’re gonna JAM OUT tonight?
3. this show is gonna be BITCHIN’

which of these did i make up and not really hear?

a. #1
b. #2
c. #3
d. NONE of the above, i actually heard ALL of them
e. ALL of the above; i never heard ANY of them

answer? “d”. as in “dorks”.

josh always says, (quoting some comedian). “you know that guy…who shows up at a show, ALREADY wearing a t-shirt from the band? don’t be THAT guy…” at a judas priest show? that goes TRIPLE….i just don’t know how those shirts have lasted the SEVENTEEN years since the 1985 Defenders Of The Faith tour. they just don’t make ’em like they used to, huh?

Replies: 1 Comment

it’s actually a quote from the [under-rated] film “p.c.u.”.

josh said @ 08/04/2002 05:19 PM GMT