my redneck retirement reversal

i announced it to the ufc the other day…

“once the boy graduates fuck looking at something with a beach, we’re moving to south carolina!”

why the fuck would i do such a thing?

because a facebook post took me to an article that turned out to be bullshit. and i shoulda known it was due to the fact it was from january tenth…of 2017. over two years ago and i was just hearing about it.

to save you the click, “jugalos” are the rabid devoted fans of “rap” group (in quotes for a reason) insane clown posse. they’ve been made fun of on various shows and i had my run-in with some at an icp show i worked at stubb’s during the height of their beef with eminem when i wore a “hi, my name is…” shirt to work the box office and, upon seeing young fans in their clown face paint, asked them if KISS was in town.

in 2011 the fbi labeled the fans a gang, which means if you go to federal prison with a juggalo tattoo (which i have a friend that turns fifty this year and has one on his neck) you technically have gang ink. the band sued the federal government stating to get this changed but a judge ruled against them because the band and their fans “failed to show that the FBI’s classification had resulted in legal consequences.”

that’s pretty spooky. sure, their ridiculously annoying to me, but that doesn’t mean they should be illegal…i’m not gonna lie, though – a town where you’re GUARANTEED they will never be is kinda sweet.

while it was utter bullshit, the article had some convincing graphics:

which really only proves i’m not the only one good at photoshop:

(that one is legit)

but, alas, it was all made up. now i guess we’ll just have to look at slumming out our senior years on the beach somewhere…

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