today’s flashback friday comes courtesy of…
(sue me, babe, i love that graphic)
she came home not feeling so great, and my car repairs got postponed for the twenty-seventh time, so we have the afternoon together! i told her to pick a number in the five hundreds to get us the flashback friday bit, and she picked…
08/18/2003: “lock yo’ shit”
yes, i’ll actually do a new entry today. on a monday. spooky as hell, huh? there’s a new law on the books that goes into effect way to fucking late in my opinion; it kicks in september first of this year. i think it should have kicked into effect january first of 2k. it’s easy enough. there are bumper stickers that already say it. and it goes a little something like this…
hang up your fucking phone and drive
now, before those who know me in person shoot down to the comments section, understand the stipulations of the law. the new law states that if you’re in the driver’s seat of a car, and you’re using the phone, you either have to have the vehicle pulled over and stopped, or be using your phone in such a way that neither of your hands are involved (i.e. speaker phone or head set)…and while i max out my minutes monthly (which doesn’t include the thousands of pcs tp pcs minutes used) i always use a headset in the car. in fact, the one time i fucked up and left my headset at home, i didn’t use my phone at all on my eighty mile commute to and from work that day.
…and that SUCKED!!!
but, being such a chatterbox (welcome to gemini country!) i tend to have the most portable of portable phones. basically, even one so big as to require a belt clip bugs the ass outta me. i like to have the ones so small that i can flip it shut, put it in a holster, and clip it to the inside of my pocket like a pager back in the day…so every phone i’ve ever owned has been a flip phone. two from motorola, two from sony, and now a samsung. through seven carriers (cellular one, at&t wireless, gte mobilenet, southwesternbell wireless, cingular, verizon, and now sprint) and ten years, they’ve all been pocketable. with at least a mic wand, if not a whole panel, that flips shut to protect it from dialing from my pocket.
and all of you i phone chat with should thank me…because not everyone is that courteous…
last week i got six calls in two days from real estate license classes. two more and i’d have heard enough info to take the test next tuesday. no bullshit. some of them rolled into voice mail and i ended up with five minute chunks o’ lecture.
and lemme tell you, that is some dull shit.
a couple of weeks ago i got to get three EXTREMELY loud calls from shane as he mowed the yard. not to ask me lawn tips…one look at my chunk o’ land shows that would be a wasted call. no, these were pocket dials from the same thing that caused me to now know i NEVER wanna work in real estate ’cause i’m not that lame-ass dull…
folks, lock yo’ shit.
you know who i blame? the damn mobile companies. when i got my phone from sprint, my manual was no fucking road map of how to use the features of my phone. first thing was to try to change the “Sprint PCS” banner to say “sean M”. wasn’t in there. wanted some cool, 80’s retro ringers i knew i’d have to down load. sure, they could spend four pages telling me how they’d “built the largest digital network in the galaxy from the ground up” and then have whole pages dedicated to telling me how to answer an incoming call, or make an outgoing one…all skills that take SO much mental energy to figure out. but the hard stuff? you’re on your own…
now, shane’s problem we figured out…by calling my sister, teri. yes, you’ll notice the lack of quotes around the word sister…this is a real blood relative i’m referring to here. and she has the same nokia as shane, all be it the at&t version…and i knew she would know how to lock and unlock the keys.
so all was well.
but if you have a phone where there’s nothing to flip over your buttons, learn how to lock yo’ shit. save us all the grief. and lawn noise. and dull ass lectures.
and according to the state of texas (and some lobby group sponsored by plantronics, i’m fairly certain), get a headset. but above all else, lock your keys. make you a deal…you all lock your keys, and i’ll stop text messaging while driving (sorry, les). and i’ll even stop playing video golf on my phone while i’m on the road (plus, on the way to sa this weekend, i got 13 under par on 18 holes…how will i ever top that?). do we have a deal?
note: the old software this site was written on (grey matter) posted comments from the bottom up, so for the proceeding dialog to make sense you gotta start at the bottom and read back to the bit…
Replies: 6 Comments
there’s one…in fact, she’s the only person in my world that got one done (tattoo, that is), and was done with it. no additions to it, no second one, no nothing. and it kinda matches one of mine…
seanM(where’sthespaceonthati’musedto?) said @ 08/19/2003 09:07 AM CST
She does have ink. But I’ve known her as long as I’ve known him (coming right on 18 years for those of you that haven’t been keeping up – or for the entirety of mine and Teri’s teenage and adult lives) and I promise you, a female Sean M, she ain’t.
by the way, kramer, i can probably make your phone say “bass pro” for you (although not in the same way as all the times I – and your other virgos – have actually had to CALL the phone to make it say the traditional dirty things you want it to say). Give me a shout.
kathi said @ 08/18/2003 11:02 PM CST
I’m still contemplating the possibility of a female version of Sean. Does she have tattoos?
the scorpio redhead said @ 08/18/2003 10:30 PM CST
sue me, shane, i fucking hate nokias…
sean said @ 08/18/2003 11:26 AM CST
Sagittarius, she is. And she’s a little sister. I can’t wait to get “Bass Pro” on my Nokia.
astrofishy said @ 08/18/2003 11:08 AM CST
alright dick… since teri told us how to lock the keys, i haven’t called anyone with my ass! and as i remember, YOU were the one that gave up and called big sister for help (some tech guy you are).
shane said @ 08/18/2003 10:38 AM CST