if your teeth ain’t blue, the road ain’t for you

i heard rumor that texas was going to ban phone to ear talking on texas roadways…

…and i really agree with them here.

yeah, it’ll suck for me when the top’s down since i don’t think even a bluetooth with “wind guard” can deal with THAT level of wind noise, but without TRYING to do research on this i actually have and the results are undeniable:

a large portion of the population doesn’t have the mental wherewithal to talk on the phone AND drive.

let’s go back a ways, to the last radio gig i had. okay, i guess i should be more positive – i LOVE doing radio, and while this was the last radio gig i’ve had thus far, it has been only thirteen years since and i’m not dead yet so i guess, in theory, there could be another one after it, right?

fuck me – thirteen years? damn, i’m old. moving back on topic here…

…i worked with a guy named rich. i’m not avoiding putting list last name here for anonimity’s sake – i honestly can’t remember it. here’s a few things i remember about rich:

1. hell of a nice guy
2. was on some really popular orlando radio show with the air name “fluffy” as he was undeniably VERY gay.
3. was the first guy i’ve ever heard refer to his gay partner as his “husband”.
4. was the prissiest motherfucker, male OR female, i’ve ever met. ever. till then, till now.

he would go off on the slightest shit in his prissy little way – and one time he came in the office and went on a ten minute tirade about how if you ever see a driver pull a total “what the fuck?” move in front of you that 99.9% of the time it would be a woman…and he was going at this point at length and rather loudly, which was funny given the fact that the host (jim) and myself were the only males that worked in the office…and no, i’m not counting rich in that tally on purpose.

but he got me to thinking – and for the longest time when somebody would turn left across two lanes of traffic, or stop at a green light, or whatever bonehead shit they’d do i’d look and sure ’nuff that prissy, fluffy fatherfucker was right – it was a broad at the wheel.

(i didn’t think the term “motherfucker”, however generic, should be applied to a guy that’s never even kissed a girl on the mouth – gotta respect those lifestyles and all)

lately i’ve noticed more and more people doing stupid shit in front of me on the road – maybe it’s because now i’m ON the road so much more running between five (soon to be six) shops? and i always find myself looking to see who’s behind the wheel – and it’s women. and men. and they all have the same thing in common – a big ass smart phone growing out the side of their skull. literally EVERY time somebody makes that three lane wide turn or unplanned stop or is going twenty in a sixty-five zone or drifting across the stripe like they downed a sixer of margaritas before they got behind the wheel at nine that morning they have an android or iphone held to their face. it’s enough to make me seek out a “hang up and drive” bumper sticker even though i’ve driven and talked on the phone for twenty plus years.

at least i can do it without doing anything dangerous or stupid…well, at least no more dangerous or stupid than i typically am at any given moment. so i don’t know if the state legislature has passed the law where you HAVE to use a hands-free in the car, but i’m convinced they fucking should. because making it legal for people to drive like that AND letting it be legal for us to all carry guns in the car even if we don’t have a concealed permit (that passed last spring) might have some bad results, no?