dog tunes

do you ever get the feeling that your pets are reincarnated humans? boy, i do. at least sometimes. i don’t know if it’s canine personification brought on my slight depression and loneliness or what, but damn it sometimes it seems like they know a little bit TOO much to just be dogs…

take copper’s rampage of the day, and it was a fierce one. you’d figure with me plopping down $85 to have her womanhood taken away from her (in sin D’s terms) i wouldn’t have to go through that bad week of the month, right? well, not such the case.

back in the WAY early 90’s depeche mode put out not one, not two, but THREE box sets at once. all singles, complete with all the b-sides and remixes…six discs per box. covered all eighteen singles from 1981 to 1988. but back in the early 90’s, i didn’t have a CD player…and i had ALL the singles on vinyl (as i still do), so i didn’t bother. a decision i later regretted. thank god for eBay.

i got a wild hair a couple of months ago and went looking, and happened to find box two. picked it up for about $15 including shipping. when they originally came out, they retailed for $35 a piece, and they’ve been out of print for the better part of six years, so i figure if i can pay retail or less, i win…and not just in the eBay sense of the word.

a week later i hit the mother load…all THREE boxes for only $52, INCLUDING shipping. all the other auctions i’d found with #1 or #3 in them were going for around $20 to $30 a piece, so i figured this was a steal. plus, when the #2 i got from the first auction finally arrived, it’s condition was not all i had hoped for. the box itself looked great, but a couple of the discs had obviously been loved in a rough way…particularly master and servant, which was amusingly ironic.

well, when i got home today, i saw a lunchables box (last night’s dinner) on the ground, shredded…and on either side of it were what had been on either side of it on the table…the cable box remote and the sony remote that controls the box, the tv, and the dvd player. the box was toast. the remotes were untouched, save for being on the floor. past that, was a baseball hat that i hardly EVER wear, and don’t really like…destroyed. past that, one of my fitted stüssy’s i wear all the time. slightly slobbery, but not even a tooth dent in the brim.

how did she know? but then it got weird when i saw the silver trail…

a bite sized chunk of cd lay next to the people are people insert. then the rest. then a cd snapped in half next to the somebody/blasphemous rumours jewel case. then the remains of everything counts, the box itself, and finally, untouched, the master and servant single. i looked up at the bar where i had the little box sets stuffed on shelves in the door. the old order was dm box #1, GOOD dm box #2, BAD dm box #2, dm box #3, and then an r.e.m. box. but now there was a blank spot where the BAD one had been. she pulled the slightly jacked up one, that i couldn’t play and couldn’t sell out of one of the MIDDLE shelves, and fucked it up.

what are the odds? and this wasn’t the first time…

one time i was organizing the cd shelf in the den, and i pulled out six discs i wanted to sell. i ran some errands around town, and when i got back the stack was knocked over, and one of the cds had been chewed to hell and was laying play side up. i turned it over to see the title – the cure, disintegration. TOTAL blasphemy in many of your eyes. but here’s the off part – that’s the one cd, out of a stack of six (and it was in the middle of the pile, no less) that i was selling because i had a DOUBLE of it. and it was in pretty banged up condition to start off with.

spooky.

so, as pissed as i was that she tore into some of my stuff, her record of not going after the stuff that actually MEANS something or is actually WORTH something pretty much remains in tact, save for a couch incident on saturday. i just wonder how she knows what i have doubles of or what not…this is TOO fucking weird to be total coincidence.

calum and buffi have only one CD fatality to their credit, and i’m pretty sure it was buffi that did the deed (SO not calum’s style to destroy stuff…he just moves it and slobbers all over it). it was a kid rock display, larger than life i might add, that held about 120 CDs…they got loose while i was at an express game and trashed my house (that’s why the gate is now sealed with safety locks…buffi figured out how to undo normal ones). when they went after kid rock, they tore a chunk out of the top of his head, and liberated all 120 CDs…mostly imports, rarities, and such. the only CD to be pulled from it’s case and fucked up properly? a debut CD from an all girl band that later changed it’s line up, got a deal, and re-recorded the whole thing, making this copy pretty rare…

and the band’s name? kittie

if you can’t see the humor in that you’re just not trying…

Replies: 5 Comments

yes, but they use the term “fixed” when they do it to a female, too, sin…so that kinda blows that “typical male” shit outta the water, huh? you’re older…YOU FIRST. and this from the one guy here who doesn’t wince and sharp things heading that direction….obviously.

sean (whatever) said @ 09/05/2002 02:54 AM GMT

Just think tho… if you are ‘broken’ now, and then you get ‘fixed’, you’d be that much better! You don’t have any idea what you’re missing, it could be something beyond your wildest dreams. I guess its just a typical male thing: afraid to have something fixed, and live with things the way they are.

the redhead said @ 09/04/2002 03:56 PM GMT

sounds like brit doesn’t want to get speared, boy…and how is it they “fix” what ain’t broken? women seem to love mine, metal and all, just the way it is.

sean (i SO need to get to work) said @ 09/04/2002 02:09 PM GMT

Brit spears it

And when you clip a male, it’s called “getting him fixed,” if I recall.

astrofishy said @ 09/04/2002 12:00 PM GMT

I, too, would be pretty pissed if you took my womanhood away…. I wonder what YOU’d do if I took away all that makes you a man! Isn’t Disintegration the one with “Friday I’m in Love?” Just remember the 80’s dance and be thankful!

sin D said @ 09/04/2002 11:34 AM GMT