no business like ho business?

okay, this time i might have been offended…

…me. offended. picture THAT one.

allow me to explain;

so, the main reasons the entries have been kinda sparse the last couple of weeks is because i got promoted at work. i’m told this is a good thing. the jury is still out on that. but it means that i am now the low man on a bigger, better paying totem pole – this all equates to longer hours, more stress, and the occasional shit shift.

like pulling the 8am-4pm one i did on the 4th of july.

yeah, i know, ME – sucks to be…well…”me”. let it go.

hell, at least IN THEORY my pay will go up.

but back to the 4th…

i had to stop off and get gas on the way in. it was around 6:30 in the morning. i always stop at a bp on the not-so-caucasian-friendly area of east austin for two reasons…

1. good people.
2. bp is big in florida so now, thanks to alex, i have a bp card.

this came in handy on the 4th because they usually open at 6:00 am, but due to the holiday opened at 8:00, so i had to do pay-at-the-pump. as i stepped around the car there were two women waiting by the store. around my age. kinda sleazy looking. not dressed in “love me for my mind” attire.

“hoes”, i believe the kids call them. not meant in the slang terms, though – these women literally looked like prostitutes. and they called out to me…

“lazy motherfucker ain’t here to open the sto’ yet…”

“it’s cool”, i replied, “i can pay here for gas…”

“coo”, was the response.

(i guess when the modern term for your profession leaves the “w” and the “res” out of “whores” and reduces itself to “ho” you tend to shorten words like “cool” to “coo” and “store” to “sto” – or so my theory goes)

i filled up, went to work, got through it, went to the town picnic, got shit-faced, etc, etc.

**fast forward a couple of days**

so, yesterday, i had to stop off for gas again. when i go inside i tell the owner about the women waiting for him on the fourth. he casually refers to them as, “the whores” (i suddenly feel like i’m on the deadwood set) and talks about how they were waiting to use the bathroom, which they apparently use to “freshen up” including the occasional shave and sponge bath, but then they clean up the bathroom so well he doesn’t mind because as a result he doesn’t have to clean it because they do such a bang-up job (pardon the pun) that it lasts till they come back the next morning.

interesting.

but then i got to thinking.

**they were \\actually\\ hoes – and they didn’t even hit on me!!!**

shit, am i losing my appeal THAT bad at this age?

i mean, i think i look pretty good. sure, i’ve but on a pound or eight since the carbohydrate queen moved in back in october – but i’ve got \\her\\ on low carb now, so maybe this will go away soon. i’m shooting for below two hundred this time just to see if i can. my lowest in the last several years was 215 last summer. wish me luck.

but back to the hoes…

this really bugged me. i asked alex about it (that was an awkward conversation, but it was really bugging me) and she could only respond back with, “well, maybe they just like black guys or something”.

i ain’t buying it.

even if you prefer dark meat to light meat the money from both is green and spends the same. you’d think they might have at least TRIED to make an effort. maybe it was end of shift and they were tired? i don’t know…but you’d at least think there would have been SOME sort of offer.

do these jeans make my ass look fat?

okay – ignore that last line…i was kidding there. but seriously – would any other guy out there be offended by this?