we all ought to own a donkey

no, i don’t mean that in the mexican border town sex show kinda way…unless you’re into that kinda thing, then more power to ya. and try not to EVER date anyone affiliated with P.E.T.A. that will open up a can of worms you don’t EVEN wanna deal with…

and speaking of the tree-hugging fur painters, on my way into work i heard a morning show in the area go off about peta NOW saying that meat is actually worse for you than marijuana. given the heart problems associated with fatty foods; and the fat contents of, say, BACON or something, i can see how that might actually be accurate. but the press release on their site says it was out in OCTOBER OF LAST YEAR, which would hardly be them “NOW” saying it, would it? typical for the day. and the week. and the month. and 2k3 in general, i’m afraid. basically, the year i’ve claimed would be MY year has so far given me nothing but grief…which kramer blames on mercury being retrograde, which is supposed to go back to normal as of friday. so my life had BETTER start to improve this weekend….or i’m coming after your teva-wearing, patchouli-reaking, hippy ass. don’t forget….i KNOW which trailer is yours, motherfucker. i’m tired of the way life’s been treating me, and i need an upswing. you promised. i’m tired of being the leg in my latest anticdote:

life…sometimes you’re the leg, and sometimes your the dog doing the humping.

i wanna be the dog, damn it…not just the limb that has to just sit there and get violated cell-block-style by life over and over again. but back to the title.

ever used the expression, “…to choke a mule”. as in the smoke was so thick, it could choke a mule? yeah…well…that was the perfume cloud of the woman who got in the elevator with me today. i don’t know what the HELL people are thinking when they have to douse themselves in that much cologne. maybe they’re heavy sweaters? the girl in the elevator WAS calorically enhanced (read: xxxxl) so that COULD be it. but if i had a donkey with me, i could have walked it in, and when it started choking, i could point at the poor animal, then at the donkey (that was mean, wasn’t it?) and say, “SEE what you’re doing to all of us?”

of course, the same could be said with following a couple of my coworkers at the restroom. kinda the canary in the coal mine concept. kinda belaboring a dull point here, aren’t i? well, i AM the master at such things. fuck it….i’ll just end on a fun note.