we’re number one (unfortunately)

texas has been kicking the world’s ass for the last fifteen years…

…in fucked up religous cults.

sad, but true.

film maker michael moore (who i rarely quote) did a great show back in the day called tv nation. they did this episode where they moved a guy into a suburban neighborhood (youtube this shit) and do all this ultra-suspicous stuff, only for his new neighbors to just dimiss it and later tell reporters “he was quiet” and “kept to himself”.

are neighbors this slow? that episode would scream “YES!”. here in texas if you have a twisted sense of reality, a warped view of religion, and a decent sized plot of land then the thing to do is start some fucked up cult. they did it in waco. they did it west texas. i thought this fucked up shit only happened out in cali – who knew?

better question – how CAN you know?

the sunday six pack – six ways to guess your neighbor might be starting some fucked up cult (or perhaps, already has…)

1. you hear him in the hallmark store asking if he can get a bulk discount on mother’s day cards.

2. he keeps INSISTING you try the kool-aid he brought to the neighborhood picnic.

3. sex in the city gives your woman her wardrobe ideas…his woman’s comes from witness.

4. you yell, “god damn it” when you stub your tow in the front yard, and you hear him say, “i’ll get right on that”

5. the teenage girl mowing the grass looks like a good prospect for your boy…until he mentions that’s his wife.

6. you notice the entire little league team he coaches has HIS last name.