fuck, i’m becoming one of “those guys”

i’ve never understood people who only start to feel close to somebody when they get old and sick and near death…

…and now i fear i might be one of ’em.

i don’t know how near he is, but my dad, a week ago today, went in to have a dialysis catheter put in to help him combat his failing kidneys:


(i’d love to say these are the metal “devil horns” but i think it’s more a texas longhorns thing)

i found out last sunday, four days before the surgery, courtesy of my sister when we had dinner. she’s taken to calling him weekly, which i think is awesome ’cause they’ve had a strained relationship forever but over the last few years she’s actually visited him more than i have and her and my stepmother have even bonded. all good in my book…we were bitter ’cause of how the marriage ended for a while, but with mom in the ground for seventeen plus years now i think (and she seems to silently agree) it’s time to let that go.

but sure as you’re born – getting the news about dad, coupled with my a/c giving me a bit of grief at home and the car issues i’ve been having and it was just too much – the following monday was spent sulking on the couch. i’m better now, but i had no idea it could all hit me like that…shit, i guess i am getting feeble in my old age. speaking of, wonder if i’ll coast into it with a single kidney? we’ve all said (“we’ve” being jean, teri, and myself) that if he has to do the replacement surgery we’d all get tested…is that free? guess i might find out if dialysis doesn’t cut it.