let me paint you a picture here…
…a hot girl. really hot. tanned. toned. tattoos showing, clad in skin-tight shorts showing off perfect asses, phenomenal legs, and tight tops revealing full, yet firm breasts. blonde or brunette – your call. slightly sweaty, heart pumping, pulse racing, ready to rock in SO many senses of the phrase…and spewing profanity all at the same time.
now multiply that times five.
and i don’t mean the hotness factor – i mean FIVE got girls, tanned, toned, etc, etc…all cursing up a storm.
welcome to my world.
now, before you get jealous understand they were cursing AT me. not with me. not in the heat of passion. not phrases like “your dick is so…” but more like, “you DICK!!! you’re so…” what provoked this scene you might ask? okay, maybe you might not…but you’re reading my page, so ride this out with me, ’cause it’s kinda funny.
i wrote a bit around five years ago on here (and again, fuck the folk at fat cow for losing all my archives last spring) and got to relive it with hot girls yesterday. pretty fun way to start the week, let me tell you.
the girls were mad because they were the south austin cylce sluts, which is not a biker gang iun the harley sense of the phrase, but rather the schwinn sense. they ride in breast cancer races, charity triathalons, etc. and while i don’t know if they’re “sluts” in the purest sense of the word, they are pretty fucking hot, and this did happen on burleson road in south austin about two minutes from ABIA.
(that Austin Bergstrom International Airport for all you out-of-towners)
see, i have one simple rule for cyclists, and before i state it let me explain i also AM one, have ridden for over three decades, and would expect the same treatment. the rule is this:
if you’re going to ride in the middle of the lane and say you have the same rights as a car expect me to TREAT you like a car…
and by that, i mean if i was driving along and came up upon a car (or a group of five cars) that were going fifteen miles an hour in a forty-five mile an hour zone, and i couldn’t get around them, i would ride up on their ass and tailgate the shit out of them to express my displeasure.
so that’s what i did…apparently the girls didn’t like this too much, and let me know this when we came up to a light.
don’t that figure? five hot girls, all sweaty and hot, and i piss them off rather than make them happy? welcome to my world…no wonder i’m alone for the holidays, huh?