another reason i hate whitey

possibly the first reason, actually. i can’t recall…and in the course of the story you’ll find out why…

…it all started with a text this morning:

from lisa: i heard you got hit in the head with a broomstick back in the day! lol!

what about a head injury makes somebody want to “laugh out loud” i don’t know, but never mind that now. oddly enough it happened before she was even born. and i’m not sure about the broomstick part – going off the noise i heard on impact i think it was a short chunk of pipe, ’cause i remember a distinctive aluminum bat “ping” noise, but i might be a bit cloudy due to the event.

i’ll explain – and i might have told this story on here before, but most of my friends can attest to the fact that i tend to repeat stories in real life so i see no reason NOT to do it on here…

“you’re from lockhart – you’re a bar-b-que connoisseur, and you’ve NEVER been to the east side to sam’s? dude, that’s fucked up – we gotta go!!!” – my friend dave, as we walked out of the back of the cannibal club on sixth street and for a change HE offered to drive.

unbeknownst to us at the same time we were having this conversation two white frat boys were brutally kicking the shit out of a black guy on east 12th street approximately three blocks from said eatery. when they were seen they ran for their car, a light colored compact, and took off. all witnesses knew was it was two white guys, and they left in a small light colored car. news spread through the hood FAST.

now this was pre-gentrification, over-priced art gallery and shopping 12th street – this was HOOD AS FUCK 12th street.

so we roll eastward in dave’s girlfriend’s car – a 1984 ford escort, light blue. you can see where this is going. i had broken my glasses so everything was kind of fuzzy to me when we rolled up on SOLID fucking traffic…like 5:30 on a friday kind of traffic. six blocks east of the interstate, at one in the morning…completely unaware it was because of the body of the aforementioned hate crime victim (note: this story actually pre-dates the term “hate crime” being coined) being in the street. a group of black guys walked past us and one of them was kind of staring at me…this sent up no red flags to me ’cause at the time i worked at a club called “underground” which billed itself (and accurately so) as being “two clubs in one”: “underground” up front, which was all dance music, and “subway” in the back, which was all hip-hop. i simply thought the guy recognized me from my occasional d.j, stint in the subway part, and due to my glasses being broken back in my car i was kind of squinting at him to see if i recognized him…and due to this, when he approached the car (which had a busted a/c so we had the windows down) i didn’t think shit about it.

“hey man, what’s up?”, i said…

“hey bro…”, he responded, “what the FUCK YOU LOOKIN’ AT?!?”

and before you could blink he produced something from the small of his back (again, i still think it was a pipe due the the sound soon resonating through my skull) and whacked me on the head…hard.

“OH FUCK!!!” dave screamed, and cut the wheel and punched it – we took off down a side street and got the hell out of there. moments later we pulled up to brackenridge hospital, which was less than ten blocks away. we walked into a surprisingly empty emergency room (as in doctors were literally just milling around bored) and one of them saw the egg-sized lump on my forehead just above my left eyebrow and took me in an exam room and sat me down on a table.

“any nausea, blurred vision, or dizziness?”

“nope – but my head kinda hurts a little…”, i said with a grin.

“how many fingers am i holding up?”

“five – three pointing up, thumb and pinky curled under”, i replied.

“he always this much of a smart-ass?”, he asked dave.

“yep” dave replied.

“get him out of here”, the doctor said.

no paperwork, no insurance check, didn’t even ask to see my i.d.. nothing – in and out in under ten minutes. try THAT shit these days.

so i caught a shot to the head (good thing i’m hard-headed or there might be some drain bamage) for another white boys ignorance and stupidity…and now you know why i hate whitey. and my oddness probably makes a bit more sense to some of you…