guilt is a useless emotion

i had something hit me this morning…

…yesterday was the two year anniversary of budnik’s death and i spaced it.

yes, two years ago yesterday the dog that reps this site on the top of your browser (and on the top of this bit) died in my arms on easter sunday, a rare march easter, which brings to mind the question of what i used as the april site header since easter had come and gone?

i do miss the shit out the lil’ dude (his original moniker), and i guess there were some hints. the last thing i said to nik last night before bed was how bad i felt that copper had died without me, as i thought she would easily make it through the night, and had done so right in front of budnik as he lay in his crate (i had to have them sleep separately or they wouldn’t let me sleep). also, phyfe was being particularly attentive while i was getting undressed, seeming to focus on my beaded chains, so i told him i he wanted to see a REALLY cool chain i’d show him one, and let him sniff the budnik bling (i.e. the big cuban link chain collar) before we headed off to join nik and gypsy on the couch.

so i suppose subconsciously i was dealing with it.

so buddy, i hope you’re running around with miss copper and having fun up there!

miss copper and budnik in the yard, 2010