leading a double life (a throwback)

this one is about a month old, and i’ve been waiting for a slow day to do it justice…

today will be that day.

i’m gemini. according to kramer, way gemini. but while i may have a “multi-faceted” personality, i’m still not as extreme as douglas cone in florida. or donald carlson; also from the tampa area. call him by EITHER name, depending on which one of his FAMILIES you know. mafia guys have done to death the whole “wife and girlfriend” thing. but check THIS shit out…

this guy not only had two women, but two homes, two sets of kids, and two lives…all with in a twenty mile radius of each other. both women ran in the same social circles, attended the same charity events, and were even both trustees at the same prep school in the tampa area where all their kids (three by the real wife, two by the other woman) were students. on top of all THAT, both of them had made such generous donations via their wealthy husband(s) that they had parts of the school NAMED after them. there was the jean ann cone library AND carson field…both paid for by the same guy.

sorta.

balls of fucking STEEL to pull this shit off.

and on top of that, this wasn’t some brief thing. it’s not like he just hooked up with some woman who was looking for a “just add dad” situation. these were all HIS kids. from his mister toad looking self. scary. and to add to his cajoñes bell grande status, this schmuck kept this up for nearly thirty years. so, how did a man smooth and smart enough (not meant in the most complementary of ways, but you have to admit this was pretty fucking impressive) get busted? he finally did something really, really, REALLY stupid.

he married the other woman.

after his wife died.

TWO WEEKS after his wife died.

talk about letting the body get cold. and how did we end up with the corpse? she was last seen pulling her rolls royce into the garage as the door closed behind her. the police believe she passed out after she put it in park, but before she turned it off, and she asphyxiated.

WHAT?

that is one hard to believe scenario if you ask me. that beats the magic bullet back in the sixties.

back, and to the left. but anyway…

(did i mention that the soon-to-be-widower was “out of town” when this all happened? his wife, i mean…not jfk. but it does make you wonder either way, don’t it? just checking…)

so then, this ugly as hell, smooth motherfucker marries the other woman two weeks later, the paper runs the announcement (you can get the police to believe that much horse shit and you can’t suppress a wedding announcement?) and the secret was out. oddly enough, the kids then wanted mom’s death looked at a little more closely…but police have ruled out foul play. this announcement was made at the ground breaking ceremony of the new douglas cone center for law enforcement.

(okay…i made up that last part)