ear we go again

i can’t believe i’m saying this…

…but i’ve kinda got trump’s back here.

over the last couple of weeks, for flashbacks, i’ve found a lot of old bits about when i chopped my hair off. so i now know, as i suspected, that i’ve been shaving my head for over twenty years at this point (twenty-two, to be precise). and anyone who has shaved their head more than once (and possibly even just once) has nicked an ear.

a cut as thin as a razor blade.

only the 8mm width of the outer cartilage.

and you will bleed like a stuck pig for almost an hour. not enough to lose consciousness or anything, but enough that you won’t be rushing out of the house. i’ve been late more than once because of this. and when i saw the pics of trump and the blood on his head, i commented many places (maybe even here) that i’d seen more blood come off my own head from a shaving cut. that’s the truth.

that being said, i’ve never had a gun shot that close to my head. i’ve had guns shot in my general direction. i’ve had them pointed directly at me but not fired. but to have one whiz by and graze my ear? say that would NOT freak you the fuck out to the point of hyperbole and you’re lying your ass off. add to that the fact this happened to the undisputed king of the hyperbolic statement and you know what you’re gonna get. you don’t get a do that ridiculous shaving it – he’s never had a razor close to his ear, let alone had it nicked. couple getting a round that close and an average ear nick bleed when you’d never seen one and anyone would think that they had just missed death’s door.

i would.

so all the pics out now about his “miraculous” ear heal? yeah, i’ve even done that before. once you get the blood gone it’s barely noticeable, and the scab is usually gone within a week or so. and if you’re recalling his doctor talking about reconstructive surgery and shit? yeah, the same doc talks about how great of shape he’s in, so clearly reality doesn’t hit the same with you when you have bourbon for breakfast…or so i’m told.