been a while, but it still works

we all have our little annoyances…

…you know, the day to day activity of other folks that they see as normal but it annoys us.

one of mine is people that take up equipment in the gym, but only spend about ten percent of the half hour they’re camped on it actually doing something with it, and the rest of the time it’s a phone chair. i am known for going up to such people and saying something to the effect of, “do you mind if i do shoulders while you’re doing thumbs?”, and when they look at me weird i mimic typing on a phone. i have to mimic it because my phone doesn’t leave my pocket in the gym, but they clearly don’t ascribe to that philosophy.

the other is people that take forever to sling around big boy weight but do it with such shit form that they could maybe, and i mean maybe lift twenty percent of the weight they have on it if they did it properly, but because their shit form strains their tendons and ligaments they’re sore the next day and, as a result, think it was effective.

such was the case with what was SUPPOSED to be my first station on monday last. the guy beat me to the wide grip chest press by less than three seconds, so i went to another station. i proceeded to do that back station, then a chest, then a back, then a second chest, then a third back, and then he was finally done. i did a whole chest/back day in the time it took for him to pile up plates and sloppily move it a third of it’s range of motion. when i commented on how long he’d been there, he said, “well, i stack up more weight then you” and i replied, “i could sling around that kind of weight if i did your shit form, too, but i’m not gay”.

he froze. “what the fuck, man – i’m not GAY!!!”, practically yelling the last word to where about half a dozen guys turned and looked. i calmly said, “well, you stack on all kinds of weight but then do a third of the range of motion, and even then, kinda jerk it up, so you’re not building strength, or muscle tone, or endurance…you’re just trying to show how many plates you can, somehow, some way, move. women don’t care how many plates when you look like shit, but you keep doing it, which must be to impress guys, which you’d only do if you’re gay…so, you sure?”

icy stare and slight movement so i could get on the machine was all i got back. when i started my first set i, out loud, made a point of going, “ooooo….look how far this machine can actually move weight!”

yeah, bet i get dirty looks next time i see him around.