apparently my problems reoccur (a flashback)

so, between the holidays and browser issues and internal issues i haven’t done the whore thing in a while. i realize this. i had every intention of doing my typical sunday night, post-soprano’s throw down and then my browser decided that i didn’t need to…so i went to bed. and here we are…

ah, the holidays. on my way out of town on turkey eve, i had to run into albertson’s and was greeted with almost NO line at the register. you know where that was a LOT different? the LIQUOR store…where the REAL family counseling begins. see, some people measure their therapy in sessions…others measure it in fifths. guess which type of guy I am…

it’s weird…when my family had some matriarchal influences (i.e. my grandmother and mother were alive) this holiday was a big deal…now it’s just the eatery (i.e. dishes are handled by the bus boy, not me) we go nosh at and plan christmas dinner (my house again this year…what AM i thinking?) and the sad thing is, when all was said and done, i never did break the seal on the bottle i bought…not that i didn’t get my share of fucked up, just did so at other places where i had to drive to…probably shouldn’t have said that out loud, huh?

i just haven’t been “feeling it” lately…i dunno. something about the cold weather, and the grey and blah that go with it kinda brings me and my mood to the floor and keeps me there a while…so i haven’t been as upbeat and bouncy as usual. maybe i should try cocaine. i’ve heard that does wonders…and is it a bad sign that it’s only december 2nd but if i have to sit through five more minutes of christmas music i’m gonna be scouting for a clock tower to climb with an assault rifle? just curious…i mean, what the fuck? who’s life is THAT fucking jolly? you KNOW these people were high ’cause people just don’t don’t achieve that level of happiness unless they’re drunk, stoned, or fucking…where’s the realism?

“cell phone rings, did you hear it?
no you didn’t, ’cause you’re not near it…
it’s on the front seat of your car,
outside the nudie bar…
partying in bambi’s wonderland….”

now THAT’S realistic…something we can relate to. that’s what we need…some REAL holiday tunes. and not just traditional horse shit re-done by the latest tart de jour that LA or NYC thinks we need. if it weren’t so idealistic, we could all join in…

“here comes d-p-s, here comes d-p-s,
right up on your ass…
pissed at your girlfriend, you shot tequila
and smoked your weight in grass…
picked up a stripper, said you’d tip her
on the way home, oh hell..
now it’s the badge boy
who gets her oral joy
or you go to jail…”