texas chainsaw (not even a) massacre

my friends and family have always marveled/worried about my high tolerance for caffeine…

…but i found something better:

ya see, in addition to the gaping hole over the ufc’s ride, we also had a small cluster of five trees (a ginormous shrub, in reality) come down in FIVE DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS, fucking with our already ailing roof, collapsing fence, and several small saplings – so i had to take it out. while doing so, on several occasions, the chainsaw blade almost pinched, causing me to have to have to hold one end of the branch while chainsawing with the other; one tiny slip and this happened:

while i openly admit this is far from wes craven looking shit, having a running chain saw swing at you, chew through the thumb of your work glove, and graze your thumb (slight bruise, no broken skin) will wake you the fuck up better than any coffee or energy drink on the market. shit, i wish i hadn’t had to wait for the wifey so i could hit the gym that day!