lean, mean, and green…well, at least one out of three

“today is the day where normal people try to drink like us” – shane

well said.

this is being written entirely at the shop, so i gotta keep it brief, but here are six little know facts about this day we all kill out liver…

it’s a smurfin’ good time, whether you know it or not! – the color normally affiliated with st. patrick is blue, not green…it just kinda went green as the day became more and more generically just an irish-themed day to get wasted. speaking of…

don’t just talk to god with your head in the toilet today – this was originally a religious feast day in ireland, known as “the feast of st. patrick” with ZERO booze or parades. the latter we can thankfully…

blame canada! – the holiday, as we know it, is more a boston / irish immigrant creation and has run in north america in its current incarnation longer than anywhere else…but the first actual parade? that was in montreal, canada and started in 1824. hell, it didn’t become a “holiday” in the festive sense of the word in ireland till 1903, and pubs were required to shut down on that day for a while due to people being a bit “excessive”. that law was repealed in 1970’s so now the irish, like all of you, can…

feel the creeping death! – while most people feel like death the day AFTER st. patrick’s, the day is actually meant to commemorate the day the good padre DIED, not was born. leave to us irish folk to be all perky and shit!

no reptiles were harmed in the making of this holiday… – in spite of all we’ve been taught, this wouldn’t have happened:

turns out the “he drove the snakes out of ireland” statement was merely a metaphor for him converting the irish pagan population to christianity…now if only he had been more specific as to which FLAVOR to go after maybe we wouldn’t have the civil war? won’t blame him, i suppose, nor will we blame…

the irish weed – the three leaf clover? used by st. patrick to illustrate the holy trinity to the pagans, according to folklore.

ain’t learnin’ fun? now go get your car bomb* on!!!

*meant in reference to the drink that’s half a shot of irish whiskey, half a shot of irish creme, and dropped in half a pint of guinness and done as a large shot – NOT condoning violence against actual automobiles, although mine is making it more and more tempting lately, but we’re doing that bit later in the week…