if you’re ordering a venti guinness tomorrow you should be shot

i don’t like to drink AND smoke weed…

…for some reason the two never mix well in my system. fortunately, i typically don’t have to pick as weed is never really around in my world. booze, on the other hand is there pretty much constantly. being an irish kid, that’s not a bad thing.

but pretty soon harold and kumar would have had some choices to make they didn’t have when the movie came out, ’cause white castle is already test marketing serving beer…so it could be coming your way soon, if you are lucky enough to live where there are white castles.

(or not – i’ve never actually HAD real white castle, just the frozen variety, so maybe i’m not missing shit?)

this all came about with their new “fusion” restaurants, where white castle has a sister joint attached to it called “blaze bar-b-que” and they started serving beer AND WINE because they thought it went well together.

clearly not texas folk – you know what wine goes best with brisket? honestly? NONE of ’em. beer. maybe whiskey. but whip out a good zinfandel with your sliced beef around here and it’ll probably get you cut…

…and it should.

beer and burgers go great together, so it was no real surprise when burger king launched the “whopper bar” where you can have it your way AND with a cold one. don’t know if they test marketed in the right location, as the full title of the joint is “whopper bar south beach”, and if you’ve ever been to south beach you know it’s population of old east coast jews, fitness freaks, and gays might not be the best way to shoot this…although with the title of the place alone it might garner a crowd from that last group, even if they’re expecting something a bit different.

no, what disturbed me was the other major chain starting to serve beer – starbucks.

coffee used to be a somewhat manly beverage – which is partially why i couldn’t drink it. to bitter. to harsh. than came starbuck’s, and you could get coffee with so much whipped cream and chocolate drizzle and other shit that it looked like it came out of dairy queen…

…sadly, that was MY kinda coffee. that i could take. to balance this out i can drink booze straight, i should add. don’t know why i felt the urge to defend myself here. moving on…

…starbucks beer just has “sissified” written all over it to me. and instead of a beer being “big ass” it would be “venti”? fuck that – nothing good coming from that world. i don’t mean to keep harping on it, but maybe this truly IS the last year of civilization if this is how we close out?