breakin’ my own rules here (raw and unedited, part i)

i think i promised at the beginning of the year that i wouldn’t talk about my love life…

…i think i even said this would be the easiest of my plan for this year to keep to, ’cause i rarely talk about my personal life on this site in the first place.

while true, occasionally i gotta vent, and this is one of those occasions.

i don’t understand how somebody who always ended calls (several a day) with “i love you more” can go from there to “i love you no more” in less than twenty-four hours. but just before xmas it happened. like twelve hours before i was gonna give up a promise ring for and xmas gift kinda close. and that fucking stings.

to make matters worse, there was never an apology or a good-bye or even a proper fuck off. just disappearance and i suppose an expectation that i would just suck it up and suffer silently, which i pretty much did. and as for the “dude, it’s been three months – let it go…” factor, that might be why this bit never gets read – while i don’t censor myself, and never have, i try not to bare my soul on here, either. and if i gotta do one or the other for the first time, i’d rather censor and not let this bit run. oh, and as i started to get to a moment ago, while this bit is scheduled to run mid-march, when life might be in a much happier place for me, today it’s overcast, chilly, and only the twenty-eighth of december, less than a week after “the bomb dropped” as it were.

so today is an emotional “ouch” day for me…and i thought this might help me feel better. time will tell if i let it post…