road trip! (a sixer)

given that i just bought a car, i thought i’d go automotive-themed on the bit today…

…’cause as into cars as i am, i just THOUGHT i was done trolling around online now that i got a vehicle. oh, no. there’s a couple little plastic parts that are worn i now want to replace. and there’s modding to do. and there’s the ipod adapter issue. etc, etc, etc. this game is FAR from over – it’s just the BIGGEST chunk of change had to get spent. now on to the little nickel and dime shit that adds up to a pretty penny (and a prettier car) over time.

but i won’t gone about that, ’cause that would take a while.

there are some things about automotive culture that i don’t get, so i thought i’d share in a sixer entitled, fittingly enough:

ROAD TRIP! (a sixer of car culture shit i don’t get)

6. shot to the trunk – why do people get the urge to put stickers on their car that looks like it’s been shot? do you think that INCREASES the value of it? makes your neighborhood look better? seriously – what the fuck?

5. hazard after the pass – when did it become a thing to blink your hazard lights to somebody behind you after you pass them? shane did it the other day on the way to SA, and i’ve seen others do it, but i never have and don’t think i ever will ’cause…well…why? when did this become “the thing” to do? i’ll give “the wave” to people who let me in in traffic or whatever, but if you’re going 45 in a 65 and i pass you, what the fuck do i owe you?

4. port authority – old buicks had “ports” on the side of the hood for engine cooling. some higher end cars have ’em, too. why people think they need to be on the side of a 1999 mazda protege in metallic stick-on form i have no idea. but it looks like ass. let it go.

3. better ed than dead – ed hardy stuff used to come only from high end boutiques and department stores…then came the car accessories. and while you still can’t get a sequined panther shirt at wal-mart, you CAN get about 150 different things for your car, from air freshener to steering wheel covers to litter bags. think i might get a car seat cover, but that’s just to keep pit claws from damaging the leather of the new beamer. how the hell is this stuff selling so well?

number two i sold for gas money, which reminds me…

1. use your gas cents…i mean “sense” – for all the world i just CAN’T fucking understand people that go WAAAAAAAAAAAY out of their way to save six cents a gallon or whatever on gas. let’s say, for shits and giggles, you save a whole twenty cents. most car tanks are fifteen gallons or less, so that’s a whopping three bucks you save…which is less than a gallon – and most of you burn that much hunting down cheaper gas. and while truck owners will save more, they’ll also burn a shit-ton more trying to get to a cheaper pump. so just suck it up and pay the fuck us in the ass price they’re charging…it ain’t gonna get any better as long as we have that sumbitch in the white house, ya’ know.