yet another anomaly – the sixerless sunday (one last flashback bit)

then there’s the trailer park folks. your typical white folks, with odd senses of fashion, culture, and food. people who’s homes are on wheels. people who’s cars are NOT. people who actually make hand-me-downs out of the long sleeve jersey they got from the motley crue dr. feelgood tour. these folks kramer ALSO refers to as his people, which is odd because…

oh yeah…wait. that last one does make sense. let’s move on.

i spent a chunk of my morning hanging with other people that kramer calls “his people” (although they DID contain a healthy chunk from that last group), the “people” at the gun and knife show. THAT was scary. more trucks and camo and bad hair and worse tattoos and missing teeth AND missing chromosomes than one building should contain.

so why the fuck was I there? money.

yes, santa debt brought me a healthy dose of his brand of holiday cheer this xmas, where the “x” is a cartoon representation of the part of my anatomy where he wedged it, trying to make it look more O-ish. but let’s move on. i was cleaning out a closet a few weeks ago when i stumbled across something from my “mad-at-the-world” phase that was part four in the “mom dies” then six weeks later “my career dies” then six weeks later “my relationship dies” then six weeks later it’s my birthday series. turning twenty-five kicked off a few mad at the world weeks, and in the midst of all this a purchase was made.

a chinese sks carbine-fueled semi-automatic assault rifle with a thirty-five round clip.

did i climb a clock tower with it? no. start taking out those who had “done me wrong”? hardly. hell, i only fired the thing once, i think. then cleaned it, and put it away. where it’s sat ever since. when i came across it, i went to a gun store to see how much it was worth. “hell, we could only give you about $100”, they said. “those didn’t sell for much…but at a GUN SHOW? collectors will pounce all over it…especially with that high cap mag. you could probably get three bills for it.”

“cool….”, i thought. i’ll do that come spring. maybe use the money for a condo on the beach for a week and drag someone down there with me so we can just chill. that WAS the plan. and then came santa debt and the money had other, more holiday-themed places to go. not that the beach thing won’t happen in the spring…it’s just that an assault rifle sale won’t be fueling it. and the show didn’t go as planned, either…

i walk in, magazine in my pocket, gun in hand. i had been told the night before that assembled the rifle of that caliber, with that kind of capacity, was breaking two or three federal laws. today i was told that wasn’t true today. i don’t know which gun nut was accurate, so i won’t speculate. i was also told that i wouldn’t have to seek out a buyer, but that they would come to me. in the guys defense, when he saw me last night, i was in a long sleeve sweat shirt, with a baseball cap on, and my glasses. ditch the glasses, and the sleeves, and show the shaved head, and people don’t tend to “come to you”. they tend to “back the fuck off” instead.

and there was more…