just another murderous monday

and yes, i know this bit is going up on TUESDAY…

…but this about the three most annoying people that started my fucking week off. i mean seriously, every now and again you deal with a person (or persons) that you almost SWEAR were paid by somebody, somewhere, just to fuck with you. it just HAS to be the case…’cause if they’re not getting monetary compensation for their behavior, what the FUCK is their motivation?

1. bank(less) bitch HEB Customer Service Counter, 9:32am – 9:58am – for those in the audience that are weak on the mathematical front this annoyance encapsulated twenty-SIX fucking minutes of my morning. why? ’cause she had a bill or two to pay…but has no bank account, so rather than doing it online like the rest of us do, or by paper check like old people do, she goes to the grocery store and camps out at the customer service counter to get all her shit handled. i guess, on the upside, she was paying her bills, which at least hints at some responsibility on her behalf. but fucking seriously – all i was doing was exchanging the 18lb purina 1 for the 35lb purina 1 ’cause in the long run it saves me a good amount of cash. fucking hell. by the time i FINALLY got up to the counter, i just took a store card rather than wait all that time, then go get the bag i needed, than wait in line AGAIN. if that had happened, i figured, i might hurt somebody. so instead i got deal with…

2. little miss 43 items or less HEB checkout lane eight, 10:02am – first off note that only FOUR minutes had transpired since the last one, two of which were spent doing the return, than sixty seconds each way to get what i needed. “fast in and out” i thought when i left the house. dopey me. go to the express lane and it looks like a food bank donation bin when a tornado hits. “what the fuck?”, i half yelled out loud, pointing at the “EXPRESS LANE – 10 ITEMS OR LESS” sign above us. the lady buying the food supply for the eastern conference of the NBA just shrugged and said, “well, she was just sitting here…”. “yeah”, i replied, “waiting for people like me with ONE item so we can get out quickly…”. every other line had six people in it, so i just had to ride it out. my receipt shows i was checked out at 10:15, by the way – damn near an hour after i arrived. that’s some bullshit.

3. mr. smokes and gas and change – valero convenience store, spicewood springs & 183 – i think legally i could have stabbed this guy and gotten away with it. he steps up to the register, five of us in line behind him, and proceeds to pay for ten bucks in gas…in change. he runs out of quarters after four bucks, and does the last six in dimes and nickels. he then remembers he also needs a pack of pall mall’s so they ring him up, and it’s $5.89, so out comes fist fulls of nickels and dimes again, but they’re cashed out at $3.50. so what does he do? backs the fifty cents BACK out, then whips out a wad of bills that was easily a couple hundred in cash and says, “take the other $2.89” out of this.

“you gotta be fucking KIDDING ME!!!”, i yell behind him. he just looks over his shoulder at me, doesn’t say a word, and walks out with me hollering “asshole” after him as he exits. even the clerk looked at me and asked, “what the fuck was THAT guy’s issue?”.

and that, kids, is why i’m just taking today off of EVERYTHING…well, that and my back jacking with me after my workout.