charlie don’t surf…or turn worth a shit.

here’s the problem with me making a drunken run to the store with the top down…

…actually most of you probably saw a few problems with that statement. on that note, my lawyers just handed me something they say i had to put next.

astrowhore.org, fatcow.com, and astrofish.net do not condone, endorse, commend, or encourage driving while intoxicated. always think when you drink, play it safe, and pick a designated driver.

moving on…

…so, i run to the store and get stuck behind a little s-10 blazer with no less than six bumper stickers and window decals to let us know that he was in vietnam. this never impresses me (even though my dad was in ‘nam, too) because there was a fucking DRAFT back then. you either went to ‘nam, ran to mexico or canada, or found some fucking loophole to get out of it. clearly he went with option one, and has a half dozen indications of it on the back of his truck – and was taking his sweet-ass fucking time making a left turn.

too fucking long.

i said, apparently louder than i realized, “what? you can take on fucking charlie and you can’t make a left turn without a half mile of clearance?”

next thing you know i’m getting some dirty-ass looks in the grocery store parking lot. apparently ‘nam-boy doesn’t have the sense of humor i would have expected. for those of you that run into a ‘nam vet that DOES have a good sense of humor, i close with the following joke:

how many vietnam vets does it take to change a lightbulb?

i don’t know…

…of course you don’t know! YOU WEREN’T THERE!!!!