guess i can take the gasoline out of my bathroom now…

so, the other night i had a dream…

…i dreamed cliff burton (original bassist for metallica – see below for why he’s no longer in the band) was riding in my car with me as i rolled to austin, but then heard this abomination of a cover of master of puppets from the cast of the gayest show on network tv, glee, on the radio, screamed “THIS is what they’ve done with our music twenty-five years later?!?!?!” and jumped from my moving car, easily done as the top was down, and we got this:

looking closely at the stone you’ll see cliff actually died in a tour bus accident in europe back in 1986, so he couldn’t have been in my car…but the cover i heard of the song was THAT bad. seriously. and as most of the bass and guitar noises were made by human voices and sounded very much like the glee-schlock i hear on their ads, and for some reason the american public is embracing this show to the point of the “gleeks” (as they proudly call themselves) getting airplay on radio AS WELL as fox tv it seemed like it could be feasible that they had finally created a musical abomination so blasphemous as to push me to fly a plane loaded with C-4 explosives into their sound stage on the fox lot as they recorded…

…but it turns out it wasn’t them. just SOUNDED like them.

i sat through most of the tune in shock and horror, figuring the only way to purge ever hearing something this bad would be to swab out my ears with gas-soaked q-tips (see – now the title makes sense!) but as it WASN’T the gleek squad it was still bad, but didn’t seem AS bad. turns out german band “Van Canto” considers themselves an a cappella metal band, and they do covers – this is one of them. actually, they’re not TRULY instrument-free…they DO use an actual drummer. in hindsight, it’s not AS bad as the gleekage tunes, but it’s still pretty bad, and an abomination if you grew up loving the original like i did…

…judge for yourself: