“who the fuck still uses paper fucking checks these days?” – evan mcmichael, atomic tattoo
“the lady in front of me at h-e-b…every fucking time!” – me
seriously. between austin, san marcos, AND lockhart it happened three fucking times this week! what the fuck? then, i thought it was getting worse. i go to grab a rockstar on the way into town and this woman has her kid in the convenience store…when they go to pay the little tike snatches the card out of mommy’s hand and screamed, “MOMMY, i wanna pay for this like a big girl!”
fucking priceless. times like this i realize why i don’t have kids.
then the kid made it worth it…
“i swipe the card, then i put in mommy’s SECRET code…THREE-EIGHT-TWO-FIVE!!!”
mom didn’t even flinch, not even when her daughter told me (and three guys of questionable criminal background AND citizenship status) her PIN. now THAT is a parent that’s learned to tune out their kid!
thanks little girl…now just remember to drop that card in the parking lot.
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The day after we took cousin Greg to the titty bar I locked my keys in my truck ( I was hung over as hell) and Kelly saw me at the store and stopped to help. Between the two of us we got the sliding window open, but there was no way in hell either of us was going to fit far enough into it to open the door. The only one of Kelly’s kids that was with us was Jon, even less chance of fitting. So my brother walks up to a total stranger and asks if he can borrow their kid to go through a window. People actually said yes, I guess the little snot has a bright future in auto theft.
i don’t know if it’s the four hours of sleep i’m averaging a night this weekend or something, but i find that really fucking funny….