no more heart on and a busted ass – welcome to my world

okay, this is something i almost didn’t share…

(and no, i should insert due to the title, i haven’t done any prison time lately nor had an experience where i need to show you on the doll where the bad man touched me. just keep reading…)

…ME didn’t see it as funny. sinderella didn’t see it as funny. shane will see it as fucking hilarious, so i figured fuck it, i’ll share. it could have been sweet, instead it’s just fuckin’ funny.

so, the other day i was shaving my head in the shower and something weird happened – on the second or third pass, when i went to run the blade under the water to remove the stubble, i did my usual swipe of the blade with my finger first (to REALLY get the hair outta there) and i looked down at my hand to see the stubble had, somehow, formed an absolutely PERFECT heart on the little finger of my right hand. i’m talking i couldn’t have made this thing look more flawless if i had done it on purpose. deciding a picture was in order i got out of the shower real quick to retrieve the camera phone…but i couldn’t really dry off ’cause…

a. i wasn’t done and didn’t want the towel all wet when i went to actually dry off
b. it was the pinky of my RIGHT hand, and i’m right handed

so i just dried my left hand (which would have to handle the phone) and set off on the drippy trail to get the phone. when i walked in my room i didn’t see it where i thought it would be (dresser), so i went to the nightstand (no dice) then turned and saw it was laying in the middle of the bed – problem is all these are in the same area of the bedroom, and being kind of a furry fucker i was dripping a LOT of water, so as i turned to grab the phone from the bed my feet slipped in the lake i’d created and came all the way out from under me…

BAM!!!!

i hit the concrete floor with enough impact noise to rouse lucky into a barking frenzy. initial point of impact was my right hip (no bruise and it’s three days later) followed by my right elbow (somehow broke the skin there – still stings) and my right hand, which needless to say the melee completely obliterated the heart on my finger tip…

…bummer.

i went back in the shower (which was still running) and started giggling, ’cause now that the “moment of impact” was over it was funny. wasn’t sure how funny it would be the next morning when i woke up to a sore hip (how old am i?) but somehow hip-checking my concrete floor at mach six didn’t raise a bruise or cause any soreness…guess i’m in better shape than i thought!