G.O.P. = Great Older Pussy?

all the election buzz has shifted off the black man and onto the white woman…

…like how anger would be directed in the south towards an inter-racial couple or something.

(did i cross a line there? if you think so, just keep on reading)

yeah, we know sarah palin’s husband is a working man. she’s got a bradyesque kid count, which includes a pregnant unwed teenage girl, a guy headed off to war in iraq, and a kid with down syndrome or something. could she possibly cover MORE bases for the old white guy who’s trying to take on the younger black guy? it seems almost too good to be true for mccain – like her back story was just created by the spin doctors (not a reference to a shitty band from the nineties, i might add) and it might very well have been. with all this grandiose shit, what did they decide was taking it TOO far? what were they gonna say but decided the public might not buy it? good think i know some marketing people on the campaign, for i bring you…

six things they were gonna tell us about sarah palin, but they realized not even gullible-ass american voters would buy it…

6. she runs a homeless shelter out of her own basement
5. one time she paid out of her own pocket to have britney spears perform at a local alaskan orphanage…
(sure, it was during her shaven-headed druggy phase, but it’s the thought that counts, damn it!)
4. on any given sunday she’ll bum rush a catholic mass to punch out priests that molest altar boys
3. the woman can knock a p.b.r. can off a fence post at 100 yards!
(yeah, i know this shit is fake but i had to squeeze it in somewhere!)
2. she digs through her neighbor’s trash to find recycleables

and the number one slot goes to…

1. she freed the jews from egypt!

(no, wait…that was john mccain’s younger brother moses…)