six days to go!

my eleventh somewhat annual juneteenth bar-b-q is less than a week a way…

…coming up on june 21st (the longest day of the year). it’ll be at my place, if you’re reading this you’re invited, as long as you either know where my house is or know my cell number to call me for directions AND you r.s.v.p. by 10am day of. fair enough?

(some restrictions may apply)

but over eleven years some things have been missing. things i kinda wished i’d had, but didn’t. i went to one kids birthday party a few years ago and they had a petting zoo. i don’t want a petting zoo – some of my friends can’t be trusted around baby lambs. don’t ask – just trust me. but there are a few things i can look back and wish i had (and might still have at some point)

six things to have at my juneteenth bar-b-q before i die

1. one of those inflatable jumpy things – this is probably the most realistic. hell, even poor kids get this if two of them team up for a b-day thing. drunk as an adult? WHOLE new level of fun…

2. a mechanical bull – sue me, if the right women are at the event this would just be fun to watch. and again, once you get drunk? hell, i did eight seconds once with the last six being perpendicular to the floor – shane as my witness. i’ll have to repost that one sometime soon.

3. a wading pool full of jell-o – again, the right women have to be present. but if i know in advance they will be (and oil CAN be substituted for jell-o) this might just have to happen…

4. strippers to fill said pool – we might have to make this happen on my 40th just to let me know i “still have it”. this is assuming i had “it” in the first place.

5. this one was just too tacky for even me to put it on the list. trust me…

6. a loaded rockstar fridge – i don’t mean this as some kind of description – i mean literally a promotional fridge from rockstar brand energy drinks filled up. see, it has milk thistle in it, which not only eliminates hangovers the morning after (hence the “party like a rockstar” tagline on the can) but also reverses the effects of booze almost instantly if you’ve had too much. i used this a year or two ago to rein things in during the teenth q and it worked wonders. don’t leave home (or wake up) without it!