my friends…for REAL friends

i talked to my buddy amanda earlier today…

…she’s a cute little latin girl out in west texas.

(that sounded SO much like kramer it’s scary)

but in truth, she is. she’s also the hottest grandmother i know, but never mind that now.

(she’s younger than me…long story…let’s move on)

in the course of the conversation myspace came up. she used to be on there, but she’s not any more. when i asked why, she said it was becoming too time consuming. perhaps i do it wrong – i hit my profile daily, typically for less than five minutes a day. that’s it. new mail? new comments? anybody with new pictures i want to see? no? alrighty then…off i go.

in and out, typically in less than five minutes.

she did point out some absurdity to it. she, like me, had friends that would post something on her page, then CALL her to tell her they did. has this happened to anybody else?

hey – i just put a comment on your page – go check it out!!!

**why don’t you just tell me what it says?**

’cause i put it on your page!!! just go check it out!!!

not that i don’t like the little graphics with some chick bent over and her thong showing and some cute little “have a kick ASS weekend!!!” sorta thing. cute. but don’t CALL me to tell me about it. i’ll see it eventually. she claimed it was almost starting to take the place of she and her friends actually TALKING. she asked if that happened with me and myspace. i said, “no…it happens with me and the whore – it’s been going on for years, i’m kinda used to it”.

she then asked me to call her more often since she’s no longer on myspace and all. so i will.

but it got me thinking…

i first did the myspace ’cause a buddy had a blog on their he wanted me to read and comment on. i read, i went to comment, you had to have a profile, so i tossed down the minimum it took to let me make a comment…

…and what do we think about people that just do the bare minimum?

so, it kinda grew from there. but compared to some, i think i keep myself in check. i only have thirty-five friends on there (don’t feel the need to compare, i know most people have more) and i have actually hung out with / gotten drunk with / shaken hands with twenty-seven of them.

shit, at least five of them i have known for twenty years or more.

of the seven i haven’t ever met, three of them are fictional characters (borat, dr. tran, and serge a. storms for anyone who’s curious – and the latter two aren’t even live people, so if i ever DO meet them, or claim to, we know something has gone horribly wrong). the other four are typically people i just stumbled across and i wanted to keep their profile handy ’cause they seemed interesting, or i liked them on tv, or i thought the song they had was cool and i wanted to at find them at least long enough to get it from itunes before i dump them off.

but these people with 4,378,966,521 friends? if you’re not a band (or entertainer or writer or SOMETHING) trying to build a following what’s the fucking point? does it make you feel more popular? do you now have a sense of belonging your life was missing? or is the point of this to find out who your friend’s friends are and get THEM on your network so we’re all one big happy family?

(i know everything i say sounds sarcastic, but i was seriously curious on that last question)

i haven’t ever done that, but plenty of co-workers found me that way. now a few of them are on my friends list. are they actually my friends now? are gonna hang out after work? doubtful…but damn it, they’re on the list ’cause i didn’t know what kind of anti-social statement or awkward work scenario would come about when i deny jenny from marketing a spot on the list and then i run into her at some product demo luncheon…

…um, yeah…i mean, we WORK together and all…but “friends”? i didn’t know we were like that…

fuck all that.

one of the people (no names) is on there ’cause they put in a request, and when i didn’t go on the site for a week, they actually emailed me AT WORK to see if we were cool since i hadn’t “approved” them.

someone needs therapy.

i’m keeping my profile up, and i check the mail on there. hell, for some of my friends it is truly the only way we communicate any more and i’m not ready to sever the ties with those people yet; but my new rule is if i don’t know you, i ain’t adding you!

unless you’re hot, and your profile doesn’t WREAK of being a porn ad. but that’s another story.