okay, so you thought socks sucked

today is what i call “gift card day”…

…but for the unfortunate, it’s gift RETURN day.

you faked the smile. you took the picture. but now that god awful hunk of shit has to go back. no matter how bad it is, it could be worse – and i doubt anyone got this, as it was pulled over a month ago not due to demand, but general disgust:

on the upside, it IS from a major designer. but a jack spade frog dissection kit? good for the high school freshman who has everything, right?

wrong.

it’s actually for people who want to RE-LIVE high school and dissect a frog in the privacy of their own home. in addition to the cute little bag with the frog on crutches, you also get all the tools you need, and most gruesome of all, a fucking sealed-up FROG!!!

(see below)

party people say, “ick”.

(and yes, that is a real frog in the bag – for once i actually agree with PETA…do you know how dirty that makes me feel?)

in addition to being gross, who the FUCK wants to relive high school? was that as good as it got for you? were those the “glory years”? if so, go in the kitchen, put your head in the oven, and for god’s sake stop breeding!!!

seriously.

i don’t know many friends who would want to go back to their high school era with the exception of fucking a teenage girl – biology comes into play, but not biology CLASS. just goes to show that hetero men don’t make the gift catalog for the spade folks, huh?