new three

my mom was a big believer of the “three R’s”…

…reading, writing, and ‘rithmetic.

funny how one of the oldest expressions about education is one that shows a lack of it, since the “Three R’s” are in fact r, w, & a. or “raw”. or “war”. perhaps they were just prepping generation after generation to go do battle at their president’s command for no real good fucking reasons. in the jungle. in the sand. a single bullet killed kennedy? i don’t fucking think so…

…where the fuck was i going with this? i am so not a conspiracy theorist. let’s move on…quickly.

when i was sick, my mom was all about the three R’s, too…but these actually all START with the letter “r”…

Rest
Relax
Recover

my grandfather (a doctor for over forty years) had told her that part of what makes people more sick is that we don’t allow ourselves to be sick. we push ourselves to go to work, to meet our commitments, to do whatever…and as a result prolong our illness. funny how HE didn’t follow that advice, allowing cancer to take him even quicker than it should have.

not “ha-ha” funny, you understand…just odd. where would this world be without the “do what i say and not what i do” philosophy?

it was in the vein of the three r’s liz used to push on me that found me at home all yesterday, pretty much alone. had the dogs. had the snakes. but as for human contact? just called two customers that left voicemail at my office, and called my boss to say i wasn’t making it in. then i just chilled. no other human contact, save for the seven or so calls from ME since she knew i was at home and reachable…but that was okay – it’s always cool to talk to her and since she got into real estate rarely makes it four minutes on a call without her other line beeping in, so my throat still got the rest it needed…and that evening i focused on the three r’s i felt would really help me…

Really fat cigars
Really strong booze
Really good bar-b-que

show of hands as to who’s surprised at this?

i feel twenty times better than i did yesterday; let me show you what it took in more detail –

the cigar of choice? american stogie super robusto, which are ironically not from america but rather nicaragua. they are around five inches long and around an inch and half in diameter. sorta strong, but not really – had one of those while sitting on the back porch yesterday as the sun began to set.

the booze? a little trip to the creek…knob creek. straight kentucky bourbon…aged nine years to a throat numbing one hundred proof. if your throat gunk can still hold on after being blasted with that AND smoked into submission? you probably need surgery.

and finally, i have eaten almost exclusively at floyd’s (chisolm trail bar-b-que for you out-of-towners) since thursday. brisket and sausage on thursday, pork chops on friday, and chicken and fajitas on saturday. good for what ails you and then some.

with the exception of the awesome smoked meat, all can be found in most towns across the country. if you’re feeling a little scratch in your throat or a sinus thang coming on, just go get some bourbon and a cigar…it worked for me; and i’m not THAT odd a patient, am i?