go poll yourself

i can’t recall (no pun intended) if i voted in the last national election, but i think i did…

i think it was the one BEFORE that that i was the good grandson and took my then ninety-one year old grandmother to go vote since i didn’t have time for both of us to do so before i went to work. i thought it was the right thing to do and probably the last time she’d get to vote, so i figured let the woman have her voice.

she had me vote FOR her. it was a short process…

“sean, do you see the place at the top of the ballot where it’s labeled, ’straight ticket’?”

“yes, grandma”

“mark it ‘republican’ and we’re done”.

the end. always wondered why w had sent her a note on her 90th birthday…

so, the last time i had voted in a national, i had to vote at the catholic church – but when the locals came around, i had to vote at city hall, so i thought they had changed my polling place. i left the house and got to city hall a bit before eight and figured i needed to wait till they opened. i was surprised nobody else showed up to vote, but what can you do? it WAS early…

so, the doors get unlocked and i go in. no voters. no polls. nada. so, i ask…turns out that even though i voted there for the locals, i don’t vote there for the nationals. and they had no idea where i was supposed to go.

so i went to the catholic church and got in line. and waited. and waited. and ten minutes later, they took my drivers license – and replied,

“you’re not on the list”

“hey – wait a minute. this isn’t some nightclub in soho – this is american democracy – i HAVE to be on the list!”, i fire back.

well, it turns out that due to some redistricting i now vote across town at the lutheran church. so, off i went; to go wait in ANOTHER line in ANOTHER church. i don’t think i’ve spent this much time in church without a corpse present in almost a decade.

and i was happy with that.

**NOTE – the “without a corpse present” line refers to going to funerals – not me killing random religious folk**

so, half an hour (was that all? it seemed longer) after it all began, my ballot was cast (and not in the same way grandma’s had been so many years ago – i vote for candidates, not parties). so, don’t forget to hit the polls tonight – they’re open till 7:00. and always remember – if you don’t vote, don’t complain…

…but if you DO vote, you can bitch as loud and as often as you want. the right to bitch is guaranteed in the constitution – but the right to BE a bitch isn’t. don’t get confused!