rude awakening

some people need to read the whore more often…

(and yes, teri, i’m talking about YOU!!!)

so, last night i did the bit on here about last night being THE night to drink, ’cause we had the extra hour. and drink, we did. from one party, to another party, to a club…and all the booze was the best kind of booze.

FREE!!!

so, we drink on into the night…on and on, to damn near three a.m. daylight time; but this was back to standard time, so it was only two a.m. again. then it was off to the house, with the open windows and the temperature dropping, i settled in to sleep around 3:30 (standard, or “new” time) with a decent buzz and went out like a light.

then came 10:00 am, and i get woke up by the phone going off. one hour before my alarm was set to wake me PEACEFULLY with the cd i had drunkenly left in the alarm from the night before. it was my sister, teri. (notice the lack of quotes – this girl’s actually related to me. if you have done your whore searches you’ve seen an old pic of me which is, at the same time, a rather nice pic of her). she called to confirm that we were all meeting for a late lunch at 1:00 and that i would be there.

let me break down the time math for you:

being at the threadgill’s in south austin by 1:00 means leaving my house by 12:30, which would mean getting up by noon since it never takes me longer than a half hour to get ready. she knows this. she grew up with me. and she grew up in the house i still live in.

but she calls THREE hours before we have to meet. TWO hours before i have to wake up and peel my face off my nice, cozy flannel sheets. and WHY, you might ask? i know i did:

“because i was awake, and kinda hung over.”

great. misery loves company, i suppose. and i KNOW she knows i was out boozing it up last night. p.d.n.? no job? love life in the toilet? she KNOWS it’s time to drink. heavily. early and often. hell, the only thing that keeps me from getting stoned on a daily basis is the fear of getting piss tested when i try and get a job. but once i get hired? pass the wizard AND the skull.

but, i digress…

the punch line to all this? out of my family, i’m pretty sure i drank the most last night (and the rounds of double crown royals on the rocks hyphenated with jäeger shots in between helps guarantee it, and that was just at the last place we went…it excludes all the wine, and tito’s vodka, and bushmill’s from before that). my commute to the restaurant was definitely longer. and i got there on time.

nobody else did.

teri was fifteen minutes late, the guest of honor thirty. but i carb loaded like a son of a bitch, and now feel bloated. think kramer and i are gonna go catch a flick on this cold, rainy, lonely day. then mañana it’s job searching again. yee-haw. why can’t my lotto numbers hit so i can just forget all this and write 24/7?