the wine cooler entry

so, yeah…i realized i didn’t do my normal sunday six pack entry. but since i’m living on tulsa time for the week, we’ll skip the six pack, and do two four packs…kinda like wine coolers, just not as gay. although i think at this point wine coolers aren’t even touched by gay guys…or girls. who the fuck does drink that swill, anyway?

four reasons it sucks to get drunk in tulsa

1. tulsa bars tend to be full of tulsa people. i guess that kinda makes sense, but a man CAN dream, can’t he?

2. topless establishments in tulsa can’t serve anything OVER 3.2% (i.e. beer). now, not only is this bad for me because i DON’T drink beer, but also because they tend to hire dancers you would only tip IF you drink something more than 3.2%.

3. liquor has a 13.5% tax here. not just at liquor stores, but also at the bars. that’s not pleasant. to stay in tulsa, you need booze.

4. tulsa folk get MORE tulsa-ish when they drink. leave early. trust me…you don’t wanna close down a bar here.

four odd fast food things from the trip so far…

1. wendy’s: “braille menus available.” a sign that was on the wall…but not in braille. how on earth would a blind person know? of course, these ARE the people that put a square burger on a round bun.

2. taco bell: “as of dec 1, we will no longer be accepting checks…”. is this really a problem? if you have to cut a check for your nachos bell grande, perhaps you should analyze where your life went wrong.

3. mcdonald’s: “now you can talk to a real person to order…we’ve pulled our speaker!!!” great…like we need things to get slower in the line. and if i wanted that “personal touch”, i’d go inside…pricks.

4. burger king: “a burger over an open flame…not just a life, a lifestyle…the western whopper.” are they fucking KIDDING? what HEFF has is a lifestyle…it’s just a fucking burger.

Replies: 2 Comments

I knew a girl in Tulsa, and that would make the trip very worthwhile. Braille was not kneaded.

astrofishy said @ 03/11/2003 09:33 AM CST

The only thing that makes less sense than a sign that says “braille menu available” is a braille drive up atm

JAB said @ 03/11/2003 08:24 AM CST