two men and a chainsaw

last night, shortly after posting the rather hostile (and pleasantly so) “bitter…” entry, i was just about to fade away (sometimes it’s NOT better to burn out) when i heard a rumbling thud…thinking it was calum and buffie wrestling (calum slamming into the door frame of the utility room can make the same noise) i yelled out, “BOY!!! chill…”, and passed out. this morning i found out i owed calum an apology…a big hug and two biscuits later and i THINK all is forgiven…

last year i got a home equity loan…and the insurance people who came to look at the house had only one request…”lose the branch”. see, i had a tree that had partially dropped a fifteen foot limb on the yard, and i had cut it down (with a hand saw, i might add) and then laid it across my driveway (hehehe…i said “laid”) and waited to borrow a friend’s chainsaw that never arrived, and it just kinda ended up sitting there. well, the tree that did that to me last year has finally decided it needed to go; and not in the direction i thought it would.

on saturday (don’t you just LOVE how my timeline jumps around) i heard sawing and found out my neighbor was getting her trees, and to a degree, some of MY trees trimmed. when i walked out to talk to the guys, and was walking back in, i noticed the half of the fork that had lost that branch a year ago looked totally dead, and hung over a small corner of the house. “shit,” i thought to myself, “that’s gonna go anytime now…i need to just cut that half off, ’cause the MUCH larger (twenty to thirty feet from the main trunk and fifteen inches around) half still looks okay.

now i know why i’m NOT an arborist…

the noise i heard last night was the aforementioned MUCH larger half splitting the trunk right down the middle as it came to a some what airborne resting place…THE ROOF OF MY HOUSE!!! there doesn’t appear to be any damage, but time will tell. a quick call or two found that cost on removal is around $500+; but the more i look at it, the more i’m pretty sure i can do this…i just need three things…a few hours, a friend about my strength level, and a chainsaw…

hello, jim…

the salutation on the phone call once i found out he had the free time…

“dude, just come over…bring the chainsaw…and let’s work out our tensions of the last few years destroying a really big, dead-ass tree. then i’ll buy you lunch…”

fuck dionne warwick…THAT’S what friends are for…power-fueled destruction, fun, and brisket at the end. and then i go to the office, work a bit, get my tool tickets (providing they did make it in today’s mail), and split to sa…do i know how to party or what?