i am a lazy bastard

the title comes from the fact that i’m doing a “combo-entry” for both saturday and sunday. which of course means my guilty conscious will get the better of me and you’ll get it twice from me on monday…you like getting it double time from me, don’t ya bitch?

(if ANY of my male readers responded positively to that question, or kinda liked when i called them “bitch”, i’m still cool with you reading the page and all…but kinda forget where i live if you know, okay?)

see, it was a combo of factors that added up to the demise of the two entries this weekend, giving birth to this rather lengthy single entry. remember the last time i wrote on here, i commented on it already being almost 2:00 pm on saturday and i was JUST doing the friday entry (kinda keeping a lazy-ass theme going, aren’t i?). well, soon thereafter (actually, WHILE i was still writing the damn thing) my friend shay called and wanted me to head her direction, like, right then.

three cons:

1. laundry i THOUGHT i had thrown in the dryer was just getting done in the washer and contained what all i wanted to wear to head out and about that night.

2. i needed to unload a ticket system at the downtown office (and a lot more into the house) before i went anywhere and it was the heat of the day, which all my local readers know has been hella hot lately.

3. shay lives with her sister and her brother-in-law on base. and not just any base, THE mother of all bases, fort hood; a little more than an hour and half one way from my house.

but, there were three pros:

1. going to fort hood and killeen would no doubt give me GREAT whore material.

2. just talking on the phone with shay is fun as hell because we have a good bit in common, tend to think alike (which should scare most of you to death, if not all of you), and just generally entertain each other…so i knew i would have fun.

3. she’s also cute, blond, bi, and clocks in at 5’1″ and 105 lbs with an ass you could bounce quarters off of.

so, i guess you ALL know i ended up in fort hood on saturday night, right? this trip was WAY different then the last one. for one, the company was a LOT cuter and leggier (keep in mind the last time it WAS josh, so it’s not like the bar was set that high.) second, i saw a lot more of the base then i had before. last time i just went three blocks inside, and then turned around and left. i was disappointed ’cause i thought, “damn…where’s all the cool military hardware?”

when i was a kid my dad used to take us to camp mabry (national guard post in austin) and there were tanks and shit you could climb on, climb in, and play. then they shut that part down, and that was no more. little did i know that mere moments from shay’s place were all KINDS of cool tanks and transports and cannons and shit that i HAVE to go play on next time (didn’t this time, but i will SO be doing it next time). we even went for a little drive in the field, as in where military choppers are flying overhead and you can see smoke just past some bluffs where they blew shit up.

now THIS is the fort hood i wanted to see. complete with barbie-esque tour guide. g.i. joe would be SO jealous right now. at least the malibu is green to give me that “down with the army” vibe…

(quick example of humor from the evening: after hitting heb to acquire booze we spotted a couple of female soldiers i’m convinced were of the don’t ask, don’t tell variety, in their fatigues as most of the town tends to be. i made the comment, “don’t you HATE couples that dress alike?” and we both DIED laughing. this was a recurring theme…)

first order of business was dinner, at the same bar-b-Q restaurant that josh and i went to which i STILL don’t know the name of, but it IS still on 195 next to blockbuster. then it was sight-seeing (for me, anyway) around the base, drinking by the lake (the damn base has it’s own LAKE, for christ’s sake) and then back home (hers, that is) to hang with her bro-in-law, cosmo, the doggette (military joke), and wait for her sister to get home from work so we could all head out for the night.

of course, because her sister works late, heading “out for the night” occurred after midnight. keep in mind the OUTER edge of killeen (where all the clubs happen to be) is an hour and a half from my house. so, when we got to the place o’ choice around 12:45 or so, time was a’ wasting…both for last of the night boozing AND for me to get the hell outta dodge since i had late am work commitments.

so, all of a sudden i’m at oz. great. a club a mere drunken stumble from the largest military installation in the world (fuck that german shit) and it’s named after an hbo prison series. this CAN’T get pretty. i LOVE going to new clubs, because i can see the security size me up…see, they do that to EVERYBODY, but especially a new face. and there it was; a face that was new, attached to someone who looks big and menacing, and is OBVIOUSLY not military, so they know the usual fear of commanding officer retribution doesn’t EXIST in my world. uh-oh.

but all went well, and shay and i said our good-byes around 2:00 am. this put me at home just before 4:00. and a few hours later, i was back up to head into austin and face the music. the loud, thumping music that was the remnants of the electric daisy carnival ii, relocated and rescheduled for downtown austin THAT AFTERNOON.

a rave in the heat of texas in august in an open parking lot in the middle of the day. now THAT’S new, damn it. a few technical problems combined with the lack of a/c in our old office combined with the xenadrine pumping through my system made for one SERIOUSLY uncomfortable afternoon for me. but got all that settled, came home around 4:30 or so, and dropped into a heap on the couch. with the exception of a few phone calls, two loads of laundry, and nuking up two slices of pizza between simpson’s episodes, that was all she wrote for sunday.

that’s okay. sleep dep will do that to a guy. better get to bed before it happens two nights in a row, huh?

Replies: 2 Comments

i think that can be arranged no problem…

sean (what? me ramble?) said @ 08/26/2002 02:24 PM GMT

Hey there guy. Just thought we would add a comment to your page thingy! Since you took the liberty of rambling on and on about silly things like the military, a trip to HEB, and our poor little doggy…I mean doggette…(ha ha by the way)! Without written permission from our mommy I might add… then you have left nothing for the public but images of a blonde chic, her sis, and stale B-B-Q. But you know what?? It was fun! Next time though…we gotta cruise your home front. Two girls from Houston want to catch the night life in A-town!!

Shay and Her sis said @ 08/26/2002 06:11 AM GMT