are ya proud? should you be?

so, pride weekend is now behind us (pardon the pun) in austin, and it was the same weekend as the lone star harley rally; which probably made some bars just a HOOT to wander through on saturday night. phillipe and i were discussing this whole “pride” thing, and it just seemed a bit much to him. to a degree, i agree.

basically, to alter a rallying call, “you’re queer…you’re here….and we’re USED to it.” “gay pride weekend” in austin texas makes about as much since as having “mormon pride weekend” in salt lake city. pride is good, but if you feel you need a weekend to draw attention to yourself, you’re a bit late. we KNOW you’re here, and at least for me, i’m all good with it. if nothing else, it just means more hot latinas, blondes, redheads, brunettes, and all for me.

but did you not show your pride but SHOULD have? after all, i know a gay man or two who took a while to REALIZE they were gay. maybe you are, and you just don’t know. over MUCH booze on friday night, josh and i pondered this, and it became a drunk tape list.

ever since i started writing this page, i find myself coming up with stuff for it at odd times, and sometimes a pen ain’t handy. friday night, between margarita rounds, was such a time. and josh and i birthed this concept of a list to help those who might be confused to discover if they needed to show a little pride. between “hey check out the ass on HER” and “come on kings…DEFENSE!!!” (the friday playoffs were going on at the time) i left this list in several messages over the course of the night on my home answering machine.

we’ll go with a “twelve pack” on this, just to add a bit of masculinity to it…since that’s about the only way it’ll creep in. so, you might be a bit TOO prissy, and need to show a little pride, if you’re a guy and…

1. you can’t dance (and i’ll spot you the fact you even DO dance) without snapping your fingers or raising your hands over your head.

2. you know all the words to more than one of the songs from “grease”.

3. you think it’s a sin to wear white after labor day.

4. you’ve ever taped a vh1 diva’s live special.

5. you’ve ever driven half-way across the state of texas to see the pet shop boys (wait…forget i said that)

okay, the REAL number 5. when getting ready to go out you require more mirror time than ANY woman i’ve ever dated.

(whew…saved myself on that one)

6. you look back at shower time from high school gym with, and i paraphrase queen elizabeth on this one, “undiluted pleasure”.

7. you think ricky martin is masculine.

8. you simply ADORE cher.

9. you own a shirt that laces up the front.

10. you really, REALLY like that “interior motives” show.

11. whenever someone mentions princess di, you get tearful.

12. you’ve actually been kicked out of a bar for starting a cat fight as to which village people member was actually straight.