wanted: sf trying to lose weight

we need more women in my office building. well, to be more honest, more thin (or trying to become thin or just addicted to nutrasweet) women. or more homosexuals. or whoever the hell it is that drinks diet pepsi, ’cause that’s all the machine has left downstairs. pepsi. coke. mountain dew. red mountain dew. bottled water. even that nasty-ass lipton brisk tea. ALL sold out, and they have been all week. all we have is diet pepsi. i just wish somebody would come and drink that nutrasweeted-up crap so we could say we drained the machine. it’s kinda like the soda equivalent of floating the keg, ya know? but to no avail. nobody wants that disgusting nutrasweet taste haunting the back of their throat, and who could blame them? that’s one lingering taste that just doesn’t leave you. and i have one smell in this world that’s the same way for me…

hair dye.

my sophomore year in high school, i decided to dye my hair jet black. unlike jim in our phone room, my hair actually came out black instead of dark eggplant purple. it was also longer than his is (and still is, actually). i had never dyed my hair before (except for a blonde bangs excursion a couple years prior…it was the 80s…let it go) and therefore had no idea how much it burns when you whip your head forward and your chest-length bangs slap across your eyes (again, with the bang length, it was the 80s…let it go). so that burning kicks in, and i start whipping my head around in pain, splattering the pristine, white bathroom walls and shower curtain with black hair dye. when my mom saw this, she about died (pardon the pun). the only color paint she had dark enough to cover the dye was a nasty turquoise/sky kinda blue (mom’s original plan was to do every room in the house a different color…kinda like i’m doing, except i’m going more with earthy tones, and she wanted to go with canary yellow and sky blue). so anyway, when i got back to the house the next day (trip to schlitterbahn with some friends) the bathroom was blue as was the shower curtain (i’ve since repainted it a much cooler, cadet blue..and gone with a tiki theme..but never mind that now). and the one thing i couldn’t shake after that? the smell. that hair dye smell will apparently never leave me.

not that i smell like hair dye. haven’t dyed it in years…and it shows. thankfully. (sue me, i like my natural color). but a girl here in the office “redded” hers this weekend. looks good. not too wine, not too copper (damn, reading these last few lines, sounds like i need a diet pepsi, huh?) but that was this last weekend. and i can STILL smell it on her. like, she walked up behind me in the phone room to ask me something, and i knew she was there before i turned around off the dye smell. anyone know a cure for this?

Replies: 3 Comments

for all curious, sy is a guy josh and i work with that looks like the third type of “residentailly impaired” individual in the entry above this one…

me said @ 04/12/2002 04:24 AM GMT

sy drinks diet drinks. he’s also a moron though.

josh said @ 04/12/2002 03:14 AM GMT

Tequila. As one suggested, “Tequila, it’s not just for dinner.” that’s cure that hair die thing. Breakfast of champions. “Just Dye It”?

The Cure said @ 04/11/2002 10:54 PM GMT