sxsw (south by so wait)

well, it’s wednesday. it’s noon. and my left wrist is encircled in green, glittery plastic; which can mean only one of two things:

1. i spent last night drinking somewhere where i was surrounded by a bunch of guys who, well, let’s just say knew each other a LOT better than i want to EVER know another man, and they decorate better than me…

or…

2. it’s south by southwest time again…

the first one? to quote the british guy who found out the wait at el arroyo last night, “not bloody likely”. and since there WAS a british guy at el arroyo, that should slam it into your brain that it’s the second. yes, south by southwest (aka sxsw)…that wonderful time of year where our fair city fills with a bunch of people who think a lot more of themselves than i do (the annual, smaller version…not the big one a few years ago when all the dot-commers moved to town…speaking of, been to any good auctions lately? hehehe…losers) and while you may have noticed i refer to austin as “our” town, and i live in lockhart, the fact still remains that i work here, i play here, and unlike probably ANYBODY reading my shit, i was BORN here. so there. let’s move on…

yes, for the next few days the waits at austin eateries will be a bit longer. most figure with U of T having “show us your tits” week down in padre that you can breeze into anywhere about 7:00 and all is well…true last weekend; when only the sxsw multimedia extravaganza and film fest come to town; but the REAL invasion is the music. originally started as a festival for unknowns to get some label exposure and get signed, it has since turned into a place where you have to sit through three hours of shit to see forty minutes from ONE band you (and everybody else) wants to see, and their already on a major label. but if you try and show up right before they go on, you can’t get in, so you have to do the aforementioned “sit-through-the-crap-and-get-smashed” thing. it’s tradition…plus liquor sales are the ONLY money the poor local venues make; so drink early, drink often. which brings me to my BLACK band idea…

i think all austinites should get black wristbands we can wear during this weekend, in addition to the “hey, i’m old enough to drink at the forum” (as in the gay bar, NOT the san antonio shopping center) green glitter thing that is the sxsw 2k2 wristband. the black bands should get you seated at restaurants, helped at bars, and parked in lots. you know what should be on the black bands? “DHMIL” in big silver letters. know what it stands for?

“DON’T HASSLE ME…I’M LOCAL”

because you know what the people who run the eateries, the bars, and the parking need to realize? the asses they kiss this week will be GONE next week. we won’t. so be cool to us, damn it!!! and you know the REAL reason labels to come to sxsw looking for talent anymore? the “injustice” can be summed in three words; an injustice from years past…those three words? mother fucking hanson. can you tell sxsw WILL be a multi-parter here?