camaro tales, part i (the contrast ratio problem)

first off, tuesday rocked…

…’cause i spent one of my first days unemployed loungin in the sun (and getting half a face of sunburn in the process) smoking a cigar and drinking coffee with ME (and yes, she did both, too). first time we’ve hung out in over a year, and while she’s certainly worth the wait i hope it won’t be that long again. if this is unemployment, i could get used to it. let’s move on to the slightly ridiculous.

saturday night i got pulled over. this sent my panic sensors into overload since i “rode dirty” with a warrant for almost three years, the last eighteen months of which i had an expired license. you may recall i had gotten that resolved…but old habits die hard, and when those red & blue LEDs lit up brighter than xmas, i almost pissed myself. then it struck me…

…i wasn’t drunk.

…i wasn’t speeding.

…my tags are all legal.

so what the fuck?

i got pulled over because of my license plate’s contrast ratio. as some of you may know my car, on paper, is not my car. it’s my dad’s car. long story. but due to those extenuating circumstances my car is registered in the land of enchantment, i.e. new mexico.

from what a.p.d. tells me their artistic vision sucks. see, for many years all new mexican plates looked pretty much like this…

bold yeller and red. mcdonald’s colors. easy to spot a mile away. then someone at the new mexican dmv ventured OUT of the land of enchatment (they don’t do that often, i guess) and noticed that OTHER states had some options on their plate designs. they wanted that, too, and came up with this…

while certainly more artsy and pretty (and kinda pastelish) it also, along the bottom, with a decent amount of dust, is apparently hard to distinguish as to what state it’s from. this makes it, i can only guess, an ideal getaway car for crime sprees…

…so if the unemployment continues and money gets UBER tight, i guess i know what i can do – drive the car down a dusty road and head to some liquor stores!

needless to say, no ticket was given, as there is no criminal code for suck-ass artistic vision dragged across state lines…they’ve tried to prosecute modern rappers for that for years…and it never sticks.