not me! (the unexpected sixer that unexpectedly posted incompletely)

the title is a bit of a misnomer…

…or a bit ironic, would be a better term.

a buddy posted a link i couldn’t resist doing a bit on entitled “six awful drinks you tried in high school”. as i didn’t drink, smoke, or anything else in high school, this wouldn’t apply to me in the LITERAL sense.

but as my drinking only started a decade or so ago (just a belch and a holler before my twenty-eighth birthday) it’s all still pretty clear to me (believe it or not) so here’s the six awful “high school” drinks with my commentary versus the real guy’s (who can be read on the link above):

1. hard lemonade and cranberry drinks – okay, the first one i’m guilty of pretty early on due to my initial aversion to beer. i blame some minor childhood trauma on that one. long story. and NO, it doesn’t involve me ending up naked and a young’un. it was just what i could drink at bars that didn’t serve liquor. as for the “cranberry” thing, i just assume that means vodka n’ cranberry? hell, i still do that today…although when i did it at les’s place back when with the polar ice vodka that didn’t turn out so well – but that stuff just makes me mean.

2. awful mixer choices – this is how we learn. i did this, too. lately it’s experimenting with various rockstar energy drinks, which are prime for such things as they contain milk thistle, which scrubs out your liver as you drink, thus making the alcohol pack a real punch. examples they gave were “vodka & cola” and “rum & creme soda”. i never took it there, but then again i was college educated and THEN started drinking…keep that in mind.

3. wine coolers – i have no idea what these taste like. seriously.

4. smirnoff ice – see the first one for why i drank it, and while it’s called “date rape” by shane keep in mind it DOES have higher alcohol content than even his precious guinness. just sayin’.

5. mad dog 20/20 – there was an awful coastal trip with me & JAB when i was still in college where we went down for spring break, but could only go for the weekends as he worked during the week. we ended up at some hotel right next to the bridge to aransas pass in corpus, the truck wouldn’t start, and it was cold and raining. this was the one time in college i almost started drinking out of boredom, and mad dog was gonna be the poison of choice as it was the only thing the convenience store near the hotel had that WASN’T beer (again, see number one)…but cooler heads prevailed, and somehow i made it through non-alcoholically. still not sure why.

6. bailey’s and kaluah based drinks – not being a “coffee guy” i didn’t fall victim to the latter with the exception of a brief period after i watched the big lebowski for the first time, which resulted in several white russians that didn’t contain enough kaluah to kill the bottle and the last third of it lived on my bar for YEARS. i’m irish – bailey’s is in car bombs. ain’t nothing wrong with that. hell, i drink that shit straight on cold nights sometime.

(a note: apologies to anybody who saw this in the eighteen hours between when it posted and when it was finished…yesterday was supposed to be a more “home bound” day as i’m pretty broke this week, but it wasn’t – and i’d like to thank ME, shane, and sinderella for getting me out of the house!)