the wings things (a throwback)

by sean ~ March 21st, 2006. Filed under: Uncategorized.

i don’t mean to be an asshole on this one…

…yeah, wait. i **do**, actually.

let’s just cut to the chase.

**an open letter to the hr department of the hooter’s lake-line in north austin**

to whom it may concern:

first off, i would like to apologize for not writing this in braille. hopefully someone is reading my site aloud to you and you are able to absorb this – i checked and found that web posting in braille is kinda pricey, if not impossible, and i felt that i might have to do so since clearly, from the waitstaff that was around when i had dinner tonight, you are not amongst the sighted.

let me explain.

certain occupations suggest certain things to the american public – and hooter’s girls should be at least two things: pretty and busty. or at least pretty and leggy. or pretty with a nice ass. if nothing else, you can see the common denominator here – and your women (to use a term in line with your march madness promotion) are “0 for 4”.

not cool.

certain things in america are standard, okay? salespeople are slime bags (i know – i am one). strippers have emotional issues. fast food employees who don’t have the suffix “teen” in their age are losers. and hooter’s girls are pretty, stacked, and typically have a nice ass and/or nice legs. if nothing else, again to borrow from your current college hoops hype, they go three for four – and that will win the championship, damn it!

your girls, at least tonight, were not champions.

so i would encourage you to have someone drive you to either other austin location with your dog and your cane and have them describe what they see. i would **not** suggest you “feel around” because you are an employee of the chain and that could constitute sexual harassment. no need for that. just see (no pun intended) what the real thing should be, and adjust your staff accordingly.

thanks in advance!!!

your pal,
sean