half and half

…and now, for another reader’s poll….those of you who know me personally have a bit of an advantage on this one. yesterday, at the advisement of my base contact, i cleaned my car out completely (all clutter, weapons, etc…even took the small pocket knife off my key chain) and as a result all the CDs that have been in my car FOREVER finally had to leave (and now i have to go through the not-so-fun task of putting them back in their original cases) went down to just the CD wallet, which got “re-loaded”. so, how many CDs would you figure got unearthed by me cleaning the car? keep in mind the wallet holds twelve, so guess over twelve. at one point, when i mentioned this idea to my “siter”, kathi, she bet on forty. if anyone nails it dead on, i’ll buy YOU a cd of your choice from sundance…just no box sets or imports. now vote away.

so first off, to address the issue of, “dude, where the hell is the new astrowhore stuff?!?!?” it’s been a combination of two different things. one is not much time at home and awake, which obviously makes for fewer entries; and two would be the fact that i’ve been a bit bummed lately and when i’m feeling down and funky (not meant in a “get-you-ass-on-the-dance-floor” kinda way) i tend not to write, or for that matter, do much of anything. and as a third BONUS one, not a lot happened on tuesday, so i didn’t really have much to work with. to quote one of my former professor’s at swt, “you can’t make chicken salad out of chicken shit”. needless to say, i never sampled any of his cooking, for fear he might have attempted such a feat, but i digress….

yesterday we added our latest ticket outlet to the system, fort hood – what josh (who went with me, ’cause he was bored and when i’m bummed i always try to be alone as little as possible so he obliged me on that one) called the “largest military base in the free world”; but as we found out on our SECOND pass through the “army” of MPs that look up under your car, in the glove box, trunk, under the hood, etc, etc, etc, it’s actually just the largest in the US; there’s supposedly one in germany that’s bigger; a scary prospect considering that if you look on a map of texas, fort hood looks about the size of delaware.

the MP check point is an interesting one. you pull up and are surrounded on all sides my the military police, who have you kill your engine, and open all doors, trunk, and hood. then they look, but DON’T TOUCH. they can’t legally “touch” the vehicles, which i kinda think is ridiculous. this means i could have had a gun and some bombs (or at the very least, pro osama bin-laden pamphlets) in the trunk, but as long as it was in my BAG, which they can’t root through, you’re all good. they also sweep the perimeter of your car with a mirror on a stick to look under it, which josh at first thought was a “metal detector”. metal. on the chassis of a car. go figure, josh. i guess riding in a car with me for that long can make one loopy, huh? we step out of the car so they can take our i.d.’s and “view” my car, and i realize that with my hair cascading down to the middle of my back, i actually have as much hair as all ten MPS COMBINED….and everyone’s in camo. even me. (hey, when in rome…) okay, so josh wasn’t. but he just HAS to be different sometimes…

we go in, install the system, do the most question filled training session i’ve EVER dealt with, and then breeze out about an hour or so later with directions to a good bar-b-Q place, and off to home we went. on the way back to civilian land, you pass a sign with a counter that made me REALLY glad we were leaving base. it said, “it has been 004 days since our last traffic fatality”. FOUR days? since a FATALITY on base? is this REALLY something worth bragging about?

this is getting a bit lengthy (although i guess with yesterday’s absence of an entry, i owe y’all more stuff, right?), but here’s a few blurbs from the trip out to the land where all sentences start AND end with the word, “sir”….

1. the town attached to “fort hood” is killeen, texas….which has as the first four letters in the town name, “KILL”; and the place has a population of 86,911 people, making the last three digits of the population “911”. you conspiracy theorists have fun with that one…

2. on the way to killeen from i35, you pass, in the middle of nowhere, “the ding-dong trading post”. a business so humorously titled it had josh and i LUSTING for a digital camera on excursions like this (likewise with the traffic fatalities sign, but i bet taking pictures of stuff on base gets you thrown into a deep, dark, hole somewhere). i was wondering if the “ding-dong trading post” is where soldiers go to trade out their cocks if they got them diseased sticking them in someone funky, since the area DOES tend to cater to every other need they might have…

3. despite the word of some of the locals, the bar-b-Q there is quite good…the name of the place escapes me right now, but it’s on highway 195 next to blockbuster.

4. when we got to killeen and needed directions to the main gate of army land, we stopped at a store i just couldn’t resist, “guns galore”. much like every other product, the ingredients are listed IN ORDER…heavy on the GUNS, light on the GALORE….(why cant they do that when you order a “crown and coke”? actually, if you’re known there, they DO, now that i think about it…) rows and rows of pistols, that due to my height and the height the of cabinets, were actually pointed at my nuts. talk about making you want to shop FAST.

Replies: 6 Comments

51.. is this an exact, nail it dead on game or can we play “closest without going over” sort of game?

the redhead said @ 06/07/2002 03:47 AM GMT

has anyone nailed it yet? and how can we trust you to be honest if someone does (i still think it was a nice, clean 40)

kathi said @ 06/06/2002 06:25 PM GMT

37. nice awkward number.

topenga said @ 06/06/2002 03:52 PM GMT

I’m guessing 49. I like that number.

jette said @ 06/06/2002 03:18 PM GMT

no man, Bubba is “old school,” thirty-three & third.

astrofishy said @ 06/06/2002 03:08 PM GMT

i say there were 34 cds in the car. probably a bit on the conservative side.

josh said @ 06/06/2002 02:35 PM GMT

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