i’ve figured it out! (maybe)

“i’m the president, and you’re fake news”

just another tune off the album from 2016:

who coulda seen this coming? well, rage against the machine did – check out this still from their 1999 video sleep now in the fire:

but i have a theory – and here me out on this one – maybe, just maybe, trump doesn’t actually know the definition of the word “fake”.

i don’t think i’m really pushing the boundaries of reality here. i’ve made no mystery of my lack of respect or affection for our current commander in chief. and that ain’t changing. ever. he’s come too far, done too much, that bell simply ain’t gonna get unrung. but one thing you do have to admit, he has proven that despite his claims to the contrary, he doesn’t “know all the words”, or even a sixth grader’s share of them. that’s why instead of things being “devastating” they’ll simply be “very very bad” and shit like that.

so maybe he doesn’t know what “fake” really means. it’s my new belief that he thinks it means disagreeing with him, or going against what he says. because, when you think about it, that’s what he describes as fake news. and “the lamestream media”. and shit like that.

it’s an ego thing.

he was all about fox news until he wasn’t. when he found out that fox would just tickle his balls, but even further right wing nutjobs like one america news would work the pipe and swallow the gravy, he started tweeting about them. and they responded by asking him questions that would be two paragraphs long, with the fist paragraph and a half being just shit like “being as how you’re the most popular president in history, ordained by god, and saving this country from the utter collapse it would experience without your historic leadership, all while networks like cnn spread the chinese propaganda they call news and support murderous street gangs and terrorists, how would you like to see us report your devastating destruction of the “invisible enemy” known as corona virus?”

sadly that’s only slightly paraphrasing. just typing that, because i have a journalism degree and am in my fifth decade of writing it, i feel i need another shower even thought i got out of one less than an hour ago.

it was reported early on that he won’t read anything put in front of him that isn’t peppered with his name because he just scans the document looking for his name and when he doesn’t see it he moves on. in normal cycles they have time to appease him on this, but with the quick turn around of information a global pandemic requires there’s no time for that shit, so he gets tons of information he never really reads. this is why sometimes when the people read stuff at the daily virus briefings he looks as surprised by some information as we are – because, like us, he’s hearing it for the first time. then he thinks out loud, and much like evening out a tan or doing his hair, thinking is not a strong suit for this idiot. hence hearing an official talk about how the virus doesn’t survive in direct sunlight (talking about how summer heat might dramatically slow it) twitler’s take away was to get ultraviolet light into your body to kill it. and hearing that disinfecants can kill it off surfaces made him (out loud) ponder “well, what if we put them INSIDE the body?”, forgetting that our body is not a hard surface like a countertop, but rather soft cells that have already absorbed said virus…oh, and that that kinda shit can kill you.

say what you wish, he’s just not that bright. and if “fake” is on the rather lengthy list of words he doesn’t know, that would explain a lot.