“look honey, gang members…”

i got smacked for that one – but not too hard and not in the face. so, i guess i can’t bitch too loud, huh?

i was merely pointing out that kids in baggy clothes and matching shirts flashing hand signs at each other reminded me of the movie colors…but the pop cultural reference was mistaken for abject cruelty. in her defense, the hot latina girl i was with had only been hanging out with me for about two hours at that point, so i guess we were still in that “first impression” phase.

but never mind that now…

i’ve always had a mini van rule. not just that i would never own one – but when it comes to food. if i pull into a drive thru and see a mini van, i park and go inside. nothing will EVER go quickly when you’re following a mini van through the drive thru. even if the van has one occupant, you damn well know they have fifteen snot-nosed brats waiting for them at home – and they all had different happy meal orders.

fuck all that. i’ll order inside and take it to go.

i used to apply this to SUVs as well, but now that every wanna be playa and their girlfriend wants to roll in a truck, that doesn’t always apply anymore. but the bottom line is, when i go to get food, typically i wait till it’s crucial point time, and so waiting a ton of time is kinda annoying.

luckily dessert isn’t the same way, ’cause the other day i saw something pull up to amy’s at the same i did that’s worse than 3 SUVs and 3 mini vans combined…a school bus. when i saw them slam on their brakes to stop traffic and let the kids poor in i thought to myself, “well, at least this can’t get any worse…”.

i have GOT to stop jinxing myself like that…

what makes more noise and takes up more time than waiting behind twenty kids? waiting behind twenty kids from the texas school for the deaf. okay, so they weren’t that noisy (which was surprising – typically hearing impaired kids tend to be since they can’t tell they’re being loud) – but it was time consuming. they had to write their order down, and then if the amians (pronounced a-me-ans) had questions they had to write the questions out and wait for the kids to scribble their answers. kids that ONLY speak sign and amians (that barely speak english at some times) are not an expeditious combo – but with a hot latina girl in a very short white mini along for the ride (ya gotta love when a girl shows enough thigh to make deaf kids drool…or maybe they were just REALLY hungry for ice cream) you tend not to mind – at least i didn’t. so, at least i’ve discovered a secret for making the wait for grub not so unpleasant – have something cuddly with you, and all is well.

but i still hate mini vans just on general principle…

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