wee bit wednesday (the check is at the bar)

this part i wish i was making up…

…but i can prove i’m not.

there are certain “rules” i feel criminals should follow. okay, by nature, they’re not gonna follow the normal ones of society. if they would, they wouldn’t be criminals. i get that part. but certain other, more common sense rules, should apply. here’s an example: if you’re going to try to commit check fraud, two things should come into mind…

1. be realistic
2. empty your pockets

charles ray fuller, possibly the dumbest man in dallas, did neither. he somehow got ahold of a blank check belonging to the mother of who i can only pray is now his EX girlfriend (and if not, we now know who the dumbest woman is, and undoubtedly where the dumbest kids will spawn from), wrote it out, and attemtped to cash it as a chase bank. the teller got suspicous due to the amount, which he claimed was so large as it was a loan from his girlfriend’s mom to start a record business.

the amount? $360,000,000,000.00

as in three-hundred and sixty BILLION dollars. did he say record? he meant microsoft.

what the fuck? to add insult to stupidity when the cops showed up (he couldn’t figure out why, i’d imagine) they searched him and found weed and weapons, which is what we all would take to pull this kind of mornic shit, right?

the clencher was the last line of the article i linked to:

Lt. Henderson said he did not know if Mr. Fuller and his girlfriend were still together.

can i get a who the fuck cares?

also, check this out. for all my non-espanol speakers, put your first name in the first line, your last name in the second, skip your email address (lest you get brazilian beer marketing mail) and then hit “visualizar”. brazilian skin never looked so good!