that heart charity is gonna catch you a beatin’ (a heart beatin’?)

i’ve never been a “lemme speak to your manager” guy…

…but damned if that wasn’t almost me at the store the other fucking day. and it was DESERVED.

the store was doing it’s little charity drive. they happen. i get it. i also get that most of the people that work there are mindless drones and when they’re told something like, “make sure you ask every customer if they want to give to the american heart association…” they’re gonna do it. i don’t fault them for that.

but as a woman, she should realize “no” means “no”.

so i buy my shit. and before she gives me my total she asks me if i’d like to donate. i respond with a polite, “no, thank you”. she then tells me my total ($17.84) and i give her a twenty. i’m one of those freaky motherfuckers that pays in cash. she then says, “seventeen eighty-four…out of twenty….your change is two dollars and sixteen cents. would you like to donate THAT to the american heart association, sir?”.

i responded back with a somewhat polite, but somewhat shorter, “no, thank you”.

she then proceeds to hand me the two dollar bills and then hold the sixteen cents in a pinch grip and ask, “would you at LEAST like to give the sixteen cents to the american heart association?” to which i replied, “no, but can you at LEAST do your god damn job without harassing the FUCK out of the customers? now give me my fucking change so i can get out of here!”

and she looks at me like i’m the asshole.

look bitch, you asked and i answered. i get that they told you to ask every customer. but you don’t know me – there have been times in my life where every cent mattered. am i in that place now? fuck no – but she doesn’t know me. she doesn’t know that. and if she has no problem doing this to me, she’ll have no problem squeezing somebody that IS still in that place where every cent matters…and when your life is that low, you’re typically too weak to stand up and defend yourself, so they’d give it to her out of guilt and just suffer a bit for the greater good.

and that’s bullshit. charity begins at home – YOUR home. your family. your pets. and then you give from there…and if you do it any other way some will say you’re a better human being, but i’d say you’re doing it wrong. if you let those nearest and dearest do without because you’re guilted into giving up for others that’s kinda fucked up.