sunday shop sludge

if you think about it, wherever you work there are certain daily “traditions”, for lack of a better term…

…and a tattoo shop, on a weekend morning, i no exception.

supply call – somebody will, almost always on a weekend morning, call to see if they can buy supplies from us. they’re not at a shop. they’re some shitty home-based artist who realized he’s (surprise!) not prepared for the craptacular tattoo work he’ll be trading weed and beer for today. i don’t tend to be very polite with these folks.

rule breakers – while you can’t legally tattoo minors in texas, you can legally pierce them (save for nipples and genitals, and we don’t do dermals either as they’re semi-permanent). you do, however, need some paperwork – photo i.d.’s for both minor and parent as well. inevitably they are missing one of the three, typically the kid’s photo i.d. they look at me like i asked for a kidney and just state, “she’s fourteen – what kind of photo i.d. can you get for that age? her school doesn’t do school i.d.’s or anything!” that always surprises me – in lockhart os had two (2) i.d.’s at age nine. but then they ask if i know a place that will “work around” this rule. if they do, i’m SURE they follow all those pesky sterilization rules, right?

dude, this morning hurts – every weekend lately somebody texts me to let me know that due to hangover reasons they will be late. almost a guarantee. i’m older than most of em, drive further than most of em, and get here over an hour ahead of em most mornings…and i still make it in, sometimes on four hours of sleep or less. amateurs.

deal seekers – there’s a place that used to be really close to our old location that did a sunday special on piercings. like all in for less than we sell jewelry for kinda cheap. obviously a corner (or several) is being cut here…our profit margin ain’t that fucking rich. but people don’t see it, and i get shit tons of calls. i used to just say, “no, that’s not us”. now i say, “no, we’re the place that fixes the ‘special piercings’ on mondays”, because we are. we’ve had to use wire cutters to cut out nose rings kinda fix. after they mutilate on the cheap, they’re closed on mondays. when people hang up in a way that indicates they WILL find them to get a whole poked in their face by the lowest bidder, i simply end the call with “see you tomorrow!” and hang up.

and finally…

help me fix it – one of the fun morning traditions are the morning after jewelry calls. this is when somebody went a little too hard the night before and now has to replace jewelry misplaced from a body piercing. ears? nose? lips? very typical. a bellybutton? now you’re getting into a real party girl! and the ones that need to replace nipple rings? shit, have em write down their number!

(it should be noted we have had people come in to replace missing genital jewelry, but oddly enough, in nine years of me working there, it’s never been a female)

yeah, i know that’s only five, but it’s late, it’s all i’m remembering, and we stopped that sunday sixer shit a while back, remember?