i tried to find a turkey day bit to throw down today, but to no avail…
…so you get this:
two lil’ bits i DIDN’T write
by sean ~ April 8th, 2004. Filed under: Uncategorized.
allow me to clarify…
it’s not that i cut and pasted these of somebody ELSE’S site or something, it’s just these are all stuff that really happened, instead of stuff i’ve made up. not that i make most of the stuff up on here or something – it’s predominantly true. okay, i’ll shut up now…
funny thing when you live in texas – unless you just look UNDENIABLY asian, if you have olive skin, dark hair, and brown eyes, you’re mexican. doesn’t matter that you’re mom’s from malta and your dad’s from costa rica – you’re mexican. it’s the way it is.
welcome to texas.
there’s an eight grade girl (back off, kramer – that’s even too young for ME, let alone YOU) who wants to go to austin high rather than travis. minorities have that kind of freedom here in austin due to integration concerns. the problem is she was born in the west indies. her parents are from the west indies. i saw her (and her parentals) on the news last night and they for all the world look indian – but most definitely NOT latin. what’s funny is, they won’t let her switch high schools next year because all the district paperwork lists her as WHITE. – despite the fact she’s darker than either of the last two latin girls i’ve dated.
what ranks her on the same line as my pasty ass on the race card?
because on the “choose your race” section of the forms the school district has you fill out, you have four choices:
1. black / african american
2. hispanic / latin american
3. native american
4. caucasian (white) / other
she would be “other”. which by default, makes her white. of course, that also means that if you’re asian, you’re white. ain’t that fun? so, they denied her transfer because she was white and there were enough white folk at austin high. she went to the school district and said, “LOOK AT ME!!!”. they said, “sorry, you’re white. doesn’t matter what we SEE, just look at the paperwork…”
so, in came the media and the lawyers, which is always when things get fun. we’ll see how that turns out.
fastest box in the west
this one comes straight off the last call of the day yesterday at dell – and it comes out of kramer’s hometown of dallas; or one of the small chunks therein. this guy gets a bunch of computer stuff for his place of business, but has it delivered to his house instead of the office because people aren’t at the office monday through friday…
…only sunday. because it’s a baptist church. and the preacher just had all the stuff delivered to his house.
everything came in fine; the printers. the projector. but the computer took the longest of all – complete with flat panel monitor – total of around $2k on that box alone. so, it was delivered yesterday. the ups guy pulls the box off the truck and sees how big it is. “i’ll have to take that in through the garage”, the pastor says, “it won’t fit through the door”. the ups guy sits it in front garage door as pastor whoever walks in his house, through his den, his kitchen, and back out the garage, hitting the automatic garage door opener as he does…to see NO box in the driveway.
he runs out in his driveway to see two kids running down the street – carrying a VERY large box with the word “DELL” across it. he chases them only to see the box disappear in the back of a truck and take off down the street. he goes home, calls the police, the near by high school, everybody. nobody seems surprised, and nobody really tries to help. exasperated, he picks up the phone and orders another computer to replace the one his church had for all of about forty-five seconds…
…and i get the call. that’s how i decided to end the work portion of hump day. as i’ve always said,
”some days your the leg, and some days you’re the dog doing the humping…”
these folks both had “leg days”…